Your Source for Everything You Want to Know (and more) about 24

POSTED BY:  AUspank 

 

Just in case you’ve been living under a huge boulder and haven’t heard the news…

 

Katee Sackhoff will be on Season 8 of 24!!!!

The SPanks were majorly excited when we first heard about this. Soon, however, we realized that most of us had never watched 24. The idea of doing a marathon catch up of the first 7 seasons frightened many Spanks. It’s just too daunting of a task. And quite frankly, many of us are just too lazy to pull off something like that.

So here is a little primer to get you started…

What we know so far…

We know very little in fact. Katee will be playing the role of Dana Walsh, a highly respected and down-to-earth data analyst at the new and improved New York branch of CTU. Sackhoff’s character will be in a relationship with fellow agent Davis Cole played by Freddie Prinze, Jr. In true 24 fashion, Dana Walsh has some big secret she’s trying to keep secret.

We have yet to come across any legitimate pictures from the set. What we do have though, is a sketchy video that some brave soul risked life and limb to capture at Comic Con.

We also have some equally dodgy screencaps from that video.


But hey, SPanks aren’t too choosey and we’ll take what we can get. We just hope we get to see a lot more of Katee in that little black dress.

Just what is 24? 24 is an American serial action/drama television series. Broadcast by Fox in the United States and syndicated worldwide, the show first aired on November 6, 2001. 24 is the second longest-running espionage series in television history, behind the original Mission: Impossible by number of episodes and The Avengers by longevity of broadcast.

24 is broadcast in “real time”, with each season depicting a 24-hour period in the life of Jack Bauer, who works with the United States government as it fights fictitious terrorist threats to the United States. Bauer is often in the field for the Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit as it tries to safeguard the nation from terrorist threats. The show also follows the actions of other CTU agents, government officials and terrorists associated with the plot. The first six seasons of the show were all based in Los Angeles and nearby locations in California. Departing from tradition, the seventh season is set primarily in Washington, D.C. and the eight season will take place in New York City.

Interesting fact I learned while doing my exhaustive research…

Immediately prior to 24, series co-creators Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran executive-produced La Femme Nikita. Both series deal with anti-terrorist operations, and the lead characters of both series are placed in situations where they must make a tragic choice in order to serve the greater good. As a result, the on and off-screen creative connections between 24 and LFN are highly pronounced. Numerous actors from LFN have portrayed similar roles on 24, a number of story concepts from LFN have been revisited on 24, and many of the creative personnel from LFN currently work (or have worked) on 24 in the same capacity.

Well, I thought it was neat anyway.

Who’s in 24?
24 is known for making major changes to its main cast every season. The exception being Kiefer Sutherland, who is the only main cast member to star in all seven seasons to date. Due to the unpredictable nature of each season's storyline, main cast members are added and dropped frequently. Season 8 Main Characters and Cast

• Jack Bauer, portrayed by Kiefer Sutherland
• Chloe O'Brian, portrayed by Mary Lynn Rajskub
• Omar Hassan, portrayed by Anil Kapoor
• Renee Walker, portrayed by Annie Wersching
• Brian Hastings, portrayed by Mykelti Williamson
• Dana Walsh, portrayed by Katee Sackhoff
• Rob Weiss, portrayed by Chris Diamantopoulos
• Arlo Glass, portrayed by John Boyd
• Cole Ortiz, portrayed by Freddie Prinze Jr.
• Allison Taylor, portrayed by Cherry Jones

So what’s happened up to now? (this is all you really care about isn’t it?)
In an effort to be spoiler conscious, I'm only posting links to the wikipedia main article for each season. These are very detailed summaries and should have everything you need to know (and more) to get caught up with what's happened.

WARNING: LINKS VERY SPOILERIFIC. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

Season 1 Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(season_1)
Season 2 Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(season_2)
Season 3 Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(season_3)
Season 4 Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(season_4)
Season 5 Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(season_5)
Season 6 Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(season_6)
Redemption Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24:_Redemption
(Redemption is a television movie which aired on November 23, 2008, bridging the gap between the sixth and seventh seasons of 24.)
Season 7 Recap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(season_7)

So there you have it. Everything you ever wanted to know (and more) about 24. There's also a brand new thread at the treehouse for SPanks to discuss and appreciate Dana Walsh. Go...have fun!

 

http://www.teamspank.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=191

My Sources...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_(TV_series)
Pretty much everything (with just a few exceptions) was copied almost directly from wiki. It’s not plagiarism if you say you’re doing it, is it? I did make a few edits and tried to make it as grammatically correct as I could. ;)
http://www.cinemablend.com/television/Katee-Sackhoff-Joins-24-s-Eighth-Season-18040.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V68ZYe1WOi8"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V68ZYe1WOi8

Katee Sackhoff and "The Twilight Saga" Saga: The Color Brown and Sparkle Dots

POSTED BY:  FatApolloLoveSpank 

 

The Color Brown and Sparkle Dots

(or The Three Step Guide For How To Land A Role In the Fourth and Final Installment of
“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” As Applied To The Katee Sackhoff)

So, word on the streets (internet) is that Katee Sackhoff is a huge fan of “The Twilight Saga: Twilight”. Now, we at Team SPank think this is just absolutely wonderful (a small minority of us think this is wonderful…but luckily we are the minority that have the ability to post articles). According to one of our Team Members and Co-Founders and Site-Owners and Token-Australians (MaxiSpank), The Katee Sackhoff has expressed a real interest in being “in” one of “The Twilight Saga” movies. This is also just wonderful. Almost too wonderful….to be expressed with words other than “wonderful”.

Now, MaxiSpank learned of this secret (not secret at all) desire of our TeamLeader’s to be involved in “The Twilight Saga” by attending some “convention” in “Australia” where The Katee Sackhoff wore a Twilight “T-shirt” and proclaimed her willingness to “sneak” onto set and portray a “shrub”. We are here to tell you, Katee Sackhoff, we have experienced your acting chops and this is not necessary. Not at all.

Still, we know (we don’t know at all) what a weird incestuous inbred sex creepy system Hollywood can be. Maybe you don’t have the proper “in” to be….”in” one of these “movies”. Well, this is where Team SPank can help you.

We, being the stalky, no-life-having, obsessive assholes that we are, have scoured the internet searching for ways in which we can bypass the system and hook The Katee Sackhoff up with a part in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” (maybe The Katee Sackhoff is willing to be in any of the movies…but Team SPank has their standards. Only the most cracked out, throwed, special vampire LSD movie will do).

We have found a way.

Step 1: Acquire Deep, Rich, Popping Brown Eyes
Here’s the deal, Katee Sackhoff. Maybe you didn’t know this, but you have hazely green sort of eyes.

I don’t know by what misfortune you came by these eyes, probably you were born with them. The fact of the matter is, they simply will not do for “The Twilight Saga”. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What? My eyes are so totally awesome! They are really dynamic and sometimes they switch colors depending on what I wear and my God they’re just so flipping sexy!”. Yeah well, you’re wrong. Team SPank maybe thought that once (or twice) about your eyes a long, long time (a few months) ago but I have long since seen the light.

You see, the lead actress in “The Twilight Saga: Twilight” and the upcoming “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” , Kristen Stewart, once had eyes like yours. And, I mean, maybe even a little worse. She was sporting some seriously pale green eyes.

However, you’ll notice that those green eyes just weren’t cutting the mustard and never made it into the movie. And it’s not a surprise. I mean, greens and blues are so light and empty and people who have them cannot be taken seriously. Ever. Kristen Stewart knew this going in. And you know what? She did something about it.

Do you see what she did there? It’s pretty subtle, I know, but notice her eyes. They’re a color. A dark color yet bright. I mean, her eyes are just this rich dark vibrant popping brown. The brownest of the brown, like if you mix oak and stained chestnut with just a hint of aged leather.

I know what you’re thinking now. “How can I make my eyes less green and more brown?”. Well, Katee Sackhoff, I’m glad you asked. You see, you are at a natural advantage over Kristen Stewart. Her eyes were just this pale, lifeless boring green. You have hazel eyes…which might have some brown naturally in them!

Basically what you need to do it wear more brownish sort of clothes to help with that. The green in your eyes will reflect the brown off the brown so that they appear a more popping brown than they are. Never, ever wear green or light green. Your eyes will just go bananas with color and general greenness and everyone DISLIKES THAT A LOT. Vivid, fucked up disdain is what everyone feels…for that color (green) in your eyes.
However, if you want to seriously pursue a role in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” you’re going to need to consider a more “extreme” approach. Basically you’re going to need to obtain contacts (legally or illegally…do what you need to do) that are brown. Like a sort of brown that pops and is all sparks and fire and is in no way lifeless and dull compared to colors like green or other such colors.

You see? Look at how happy and “having-a-role-in-the-movie” Kristen Stewart is with her brown eyes.

“It’s the color ‘brown’ I think…but it’s not just brown like the crayon or anything. It’s more beautiful brown. Like fresh earth dirt in a summer garden in a lake in Vermont, mixed with a rich stallion brown that has just a hint of red/brown if the sun hits it the right way, and just the tiniest little smidge of that light cracked dry desert brown. There’s even a little hint of the brown you see in the Mississippi Delta, that’s called ‘Delta brown’. It’s all those beautiful brown colors mixed together, put in contact form and placed over her eyes. It’s like…poetry. ” – LittleSpank (DJ)

Now, in the case that you do decide to go the contact-route, then feel free to wear any amounts of greens you want.

As long as the greens aren’t in your eyes, feel free to sport the color proudly. In fact, the green can be used much to your advantage in making your eyes a more fiery, lively, popping sex brown that pops.

Step 2: Embrace Sparkle Dots As Part of Your Life
Alright, this is what’s happening in the world of “The Twilight Saga: Twilight”. There are vampires sparkling. That is something that happened. And it’s going to happen in “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” and it’s going to happen A LOT in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” (which is, I believe, the role you’re going for). This is probably the most fantastic vampire myth ever to be called “canon” in anything.

It has recently come to the attention of Team SPank that the sparkles seen in the movie on the skin of one Edward Cullen were not his own. They were in fact, possibly, CGI. Well, being the curious little hookers that we are, we carried on not giving a shit. Then, while perusing some Kristen Stewart photo galleries (that are amazingly organized and up to date compared with our own gallery) in order to leer and ogle Stewart’s infamous “bitchface” we stumbled across some pictures from the set of the yet-to-be-released “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”.

Our first thought was “Check out that green shirt and how it makes those brown eyes pop.”

Our second thought was “Holy fuck, look at Kristen Stewart grinding on the Pattz’ shit”.

Our third thought was “Look at Kristen Stewart running. She’s not athletic at all. That’s going to be fucking awkward as hell to watch.”

Our fourth thought was “Wow. A spray-on six pack. ALSO AWKWARD.”

But the fifth thing we thought was what we really want to talk about.
And that would be “What are those…things….on…..are those…..dots?”

And you know what? They’re dots.

But they’re not just any dots. No, no. After much deliberation and thorough analysis we came to the conclusion that this scene takes place when the sun…is out.
Which, Katee Sackhoff, you know can only mean ONE THING.

Yes. Those are sparkle dots.

And you need to get some….on you.

Step 3: Go Audition.
So, imagine this:

You walk in, strutting your stuff, wearing something sexy, your hair looks just really phenomenal, you’re smiling and confident, you’re slightly drunk from the wine you were just pounding back on the ride here. The audition people look you up and down and say “Wow. What an amazing, sexy, confident, drunk young woman. Who is she?” As luck would have it, they do not recognize you from the unfortunate occurrence on the set of “The Twilight Saga: Twilight”. You’re good to go.

Just as they’re about to immediately cast you on the spot, they hesitate. “Wait. If only there was something…..more.”

That, Katee Sackhoff, is when you shed the jacket you were wearing (did I not mention that? You’re wearing a fairly large, bulky, yet sexy overcoat) revealing that you have meticulously and artfully donned several dozen (hundreds) of sparkle dots. The audition people don’t know where these dots came from, nor do they feel the need to inquire. They are immediately dazzled.

So, they’re as good as signing the papers (you know, those papers that say…”yes” to you being in the movie. Those papers) and they pause…again.

So they look at your clothes and they notice that you’re not wearing green. This would normally be a good thing, considering the status of your eyeballs’ color. But something is different. Something very nearly indescribable. They can imagine that if you were wearing green it would do….something…for your eyes. But what? It would definitely make them more…something.

That’s what they realize that your eyes are no longer their natural ugly hazel green. They are now like a sort of softness of wet mud mixed with dark chocolate and milk chocolate and Mexican hot chocolate with a hint of light tree trunk and cloves where when the sun hits it it's got a hint of rusty chain link fence red and it's just so earthy and delicious and it's like someone managed to capture the essence of nature and rusty fences and somehow harness that into these tiny...things...that you put in your eyes to cover the color green.

You are hired.

Katee at Comic Con 2009 - 24 Panel Transcripts

POSTED BY:  SnowflakeSpank 

 

Disclaimer: I did not go to Comic Con, this is all from videos found around the web. I only transcribed the Katee stuff, because as far as I'm concerned, she was the only celebrity in the room!

Thanks: So much thanks to all those who went and captured this goodness for us losers sitting at home... because really who is the bigger loser: the person attending a "Con" or the person sitting at his/her computer searching for video from the "Con" as soon as they could possibly be uploaded? Yep. Thats right. We pretend to be too cool to go, but we are easily just as lame!

**********
Katee Moment ONE: The moderator has begun talking to the new cast members of the show and has just finished a question with Freddie Prince Junior about being a big fan of 24 and the character he will be playing this season.

Moderator: "There's a familiar face right next to Freddie. A lot of fans [completely drowned out by cheers] Thank you, grateful to see Miss Katee Sackhoff back on television and so Katee tell us again how you came to this show again a little sneak on who you'll be portraying."

Katee: "Um, well I think that- that I found out that there was a role and I kinda called my-it's a long story but I basically called my manager and was like get me on 24. So through a long process I finally ended up on - on the show but um, I play Dana [pause] Walsh. Sorry I had to make sure I got the last name right, its changed a couple times. Almost called her something else. I play Starbuck [laughs] (crowd goes wild) Um I play a character named Dana Walsh, who is engaged to Cole (motions to Freddie Prince Jr. who pumps his fist causing Katee and crowd to laugh) Um, and she is a um data analyst at CTU, and um, thats all I can tell you. I don't want to give too much away! All I can say is that I sat down in the writer room with Howard and everybody and I said- and I read the scripts and was like this is fantastic, at some point I need a gun. Oh boy. Because I'm starting to feel really naked. So I'm like, this computer stuff is great and everything and I love saying all the big complicated words (not really) um but um, I need a gun. And two, preferably. " (crowd cheers, Freddie Prince Jr. leans over to whisper something to her that makes her laugh)

********
Katee Moment TWO: Mary Lynn Rajskub is answering the moderator's question about the different aspect of her character that was seen last season with her becoming a mom and how her character will be different this season.

Katee smiles and waves in response to Mary Lynn Rajskub's reference to her character being Chloe's boss.

(this is, in my opinion, the only good part of this answer)
********
Katee Moment THREE: Questions from the audience

Audience member: "This question is for Katee. You were involved in your previous show from the beginning. How has it been for coming into this show that's been around for 7 years?"

Katee: "Um, Its been interesting. It- the show - everyone is welcoming me with open arms. I think - I said the other day I couldn't have left - or found an experience that was so much like Battlestar Galactica in- in the sense that everyone is a family, the hours are kinda similar, um and I really really enjoy working with everyone and everyone enjoys working with each other so its just a very seamless transition for me to come into, so its - its been really nice. So."

****
Katee Moment FOUR: Questions from the audience

Audience Member: "Hi Katee (Katee waves excitedly) After playing Starbuck for the past 5 years and really owning that role, (crowd yelps and hollers) rebellious tomboy [unheard] and yet being very feminine in real life, how are you going to bring that all together in this role?"

Katee: "um its - its - starbuck was so much fun and she was so strong and it was kind of like therapy to get to go to work and beat people up and ya know... it really was, I kind of miss beating people up because this character is not that. So um its, its I think that every character on television has a little bit of yourself because I think its just easier to go to work and play this character if its just a side of yourself so this is just kind of the sweeter side of myself, ya know. For a while. I can't give too much away. Like, I'm trying not to say too much. I don't - seriously, I might get fired, I have no job security whatsoever. On 24 you have no job security, I could get my head cut off and put in a duffle bag for evidence."

Twilight Turmoil - The Spanker Civil War - Sackhoff Implored to Mediate

POSTED BY:  bellaspank 

 

This article is a cry out for help to our Team Leader. TeamSpank is in total disarray. The Spankers are distraught. Never in it's entire long and colorful history has TeamSPank seen such conflict. Such tension. Such hate. We are at a crossroads and this is all because of Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores). It has split our beloved Team right down the middle and it's frankly getting ugly. We need some guidance - some intervention - before our whole world of SPanking turns completely to shit. Our Team Leader is something of an expert on this issue and so we're sure she'll know what to do. TeamSpank can survive without BSG, without Lost & Found, without The Last Sentinel even, but I don't think we're going to be able to survive this.

Katee - helpppppppppp!

Things have gotten so out of hand that some Spankers are trying to 'psych out' their fellow Spankers with emotional warfare. For example, founding spanker FatApolloLoveSpank, has taken to shoving the following picture down her oppositions' throats in an all out assault on her Twilight foes.

Pure evil. And pretty damn funny. Some spankers have taken to tricking others into watching YouTube vids of Twilight scenes by renaming the link "Katee Sackhoff Lost & Found Promo". That's just fucking low.
Yes the Spankers are divided. On one side we've got the "Twilight Lovers" and on the other side we've got the "Twilight Haters". Then we've also got this fence-sitting in between group - the "Twilight Couldn't Give A Shitters".
Some Spankers really seem to HATE Twilight. So much so that the TeamSpank Executive Council have had to impose some special measures at the TeamSpank Treehouse. They have set the word censor to work, preventing some of the more contentious, shit-stirring words being used by belligerent Spankers. Here are a couple of examples:

• The word "Twilight" now becomes - "Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)".
  Let's call a spade a spade. Katee Sackhoff does adore Twilight and the "haters" need that fact shoved down their throats as often as possible.

• The word "hate" now becomes - "love with the fire of a thousand suns".
  We don't 'hate' at TeamSpank, so those hostile outbursts have got to stop. (Blame/thank SwimSpank for this one).

see below for some examples of usage

Make no mistake - Katee Sackhoff is a Twilight Lover. There is no debate about this. Spankers have personally, with their own eyes, live and in living color, seen our Team Leader wear a Twilight T-Shirt. You don't wear a T-Shirt and force your boyfriend to watch the movie under sufferance if you are a "Hater" or a "Couldn't Give A Shitter". The very fact that this woman bothers to launder clothing that is ablaze with a Twilight logo shows TRUE commitment.

Evidence (as doctored by DJspanker)

Even though my namesake is a protagonist in the story, I would still fall into the "Twilight Couldn't Give A Shitter" group - I haven't seen a frame of the movie or read a page of the book series and I don't understand what all the fuss is about, (although I must say the lead boy and girl seem fairly enticing). Having said that, I am predisposed to favoring the 'Twilight Lovers', purely because it's fun getting a rise out of the people who seem to love with the fire of a thousand suns it so much. But whichever way Spankers swing on this issue, we need to resolve the conflict now. Stop the insanity! Can't we all just try to get along?

Katee Sackhoff - what on earth are we going to do? Help!!!!

__________________________________

A sample of Twilight word censor usage, courtesy of Stylo Spanker. This is what he typed:

And as twilight approaches through the window behind my desk,....I realise that I did not get to eat today and only drank half of the coke on my desk. But a half a coke by twilight is better than no coke at all and soon my twilight snacks will be just smashing.

The censor changed it to this:

And as Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores) approaches through the window behind my desk,....I realise that I did not get to eat today and only drank half of the coke on my desk. But a half a coke by Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores) is better than no coke at all and soon my Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores) snacks will be just smashing.

If anyone quotes or repeats Stylo, then the truly sublime Twilight Infinite Loop Anomaly kicks in and you get this:

And as Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)(which Katee Sackhoff adores) approaches through the window behind my desk,....I realise that I did not get to eat today and only drank half of the coke on my desk. But a half a coke by Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)(which Katee Sackhoff adores) is better than no coke at all and soon my Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)(which Katee Sackhoff adores) snacks will be just smashing.

Yes the Twilight word censor is a thing of rare beauty. It mightn't be doing much to help end the Civil War Crisis, but it's certainly fun knowing that everytime the "haters" see it, they die just a little bit more on the inside.

De l'influence de TeamSPank sur les fans de Katee...

POSTED BY:  Sarah (aka RiriSpank)

Comme Maxi m'y a invitée plusieurs fois, il est grand temps que je poste un article en Français sur TeamSpank... Après tout, c'est un site international, censé réunir tous les fans de Katee, donc il est bien normal que la webmiss de la seule source francophone (Dossier Katee Sackhoff) ajoute son grain de sel. Et c'est justement après une mise à jour de mon site que je suis amenée à me pencher sur une question de la plus cruciale importance : dans quelle mesure TeamSpank déteint-elle sur les fans de Katee - vous et moi, donc ? (je dis "elle", pour TeamSpank, par rapport au mot "Team" qui, en français, signifie "équipe")

Autrefois d'une innocence sans égale et en plus pure admiration devant notre TeamLeader - autrement dit Katee Sackhoff - je surprends les news de mon site à adopter un ton de plus en plus sarcastique vis-à-vis de Ms Sackhoff. Jugez en par vous-mêmes :

C'est officiel, nous pouvons à présent affirmer avec certitude que Katee sait taper à l'ordinateur ! Mieux que ça, elle sait changer son statut sur Facebook...

Depuis quand est-ce que je me permets de supposer ainsi que Katee ne sait pas se servir d'un ordinateur ? Qui m'a donné des ailes pour me montrer aussi ironique ? Où ai-je trouvé le courage et l'inspiration pour pondre de pareilles horreurs ?

La réponse est très simple : TeamSPank !
D'ailleurs, pour bien comprendre le but et l'origine de ce groupe, force est de remonter à la signification même du nom de cette équipe. "Spank" signifie "donner une fessée"... Honnêtement, pour un site de fans, c'est un peu bizarre de prendre un nom aussi insolent. Sans compter qu'ils l'ont volé sans scrupule au frangin de Katee, Erick.
Alors, quel est exactement l'objectif de ce site ? Donner une fessée à Katee ?

Virtuellement, sans aucun doute, car quand on lit les messages des membres de l'équipe postés sur le forum ou sur le blog, on réalise deux choses : la première, c'est qu'ils ont un âge mental moyen de 7 ans (et encore, je suis généreuse), et la deuxième, c'est qu'ils n'ont absolument pas peur des conséquences des mots qu'ils écrivent. En un sens, tant mieux : on s'amuse beaucoup, et on ne se prend pas du tout au sérieux. Mais vraiment, est-ce bien raisonnable, alors que nous savons pertinemment que Katee sait lire - même si elle ne se balade pas en permanence sur les sites qui lui sont consacrés -, et que sa môman a déjà posté sur le forum de scifi.com (ce qui veut dire qu'elle aussi sait lire, wow).

Tout cela pour dire que si Katee prête trop attention à ce qui est posté sur ce blog et le forum qui lui est attaché, elle va finir par se demander ce qu'elle a fait pour mériter tant de fessées - parce que croyez-moi, elle s'en prend plein la figure, si l'on regarde de près. Et je ne mentionnerai même pas les différents messages descendant en flèche le malheureux film "The Last Sentinel" - dont j'avais d'ailleurs écrit une critique inoubliable sur feu mon blog.

Et là est certainement mon erreur : passer trop de temps à lire les messages - hilarants, j'en conviens - émanant directement de l'esprit tordus des SPanks - dont je fais partie bien sûr. De fait, leur ton s'est immiscé dans ma petite tête et ressort à présent en direct par mes doigts - toujours aux dépens de notre pauvre Katee.

Pour finir, une question s'impose : le dicton très célèbre "qui aime bien châtie bien" peut-il s'appliquer ici ? Allez, disons que oui... parce que de toute façon, on s'amuse tellement que ce serait dommage d'arrêter :p Noooon, pas tirer, Katee !

IN ENGLISH, FOR MY UNEDUCATED READERS ^_^

The influence of TeamSPank on Katee's fans...

As Maxi invited me several times to post something in French on the Spank Blog (cause yes, Maxi, you did ;-)), it's high time I wrote an article... After all, this is an international site, that is supposed to gather all Katee fans, so it's only normal the webmiss of the only French resource (Dossier Katee Sackhoff) should put in her two cents. Actually, it's right after I posted an update on my site that I felt the need to deal with a highly topical question : what influence does TeamSPank have on Katee fans - you and me ?

I used to be an innocent lamb and in such an awe of our TeamLeader - aka Katee Sackhoff -, but I've noticed that the articles on my site tend to take on a more and more sarcastic tone towards Ms Sackhoff. Judge for yourself :

It's official, we can now assert without a doubt that Katee can type on a computer ! Even better, she knows how to update her status on Facebook...

Since when do I take the liberty of assuming Katee can't use a computer ? Who made me feel exhilarated enough to become so ironic ? Where did I find the courage and the inspiration to write such horrifying stuff ?

The answer is quite simple : TeamSPank !

*In this paragraph, I explain what SPank means in French so I won't translate that part... it would seem ridiculous* But seriously, it's kinda weird for a fansite to choose such an insolent name. Not to mention they stole it with no qualms from Katee's brother, Erick.

So what is exactly this site's objective ? Spanking Katee ? Virtually of course, because when you read the messages the SPankers write both on the forum and on the blog, you realize two things : first, they have the mental age of a 7 year old (and I'm generous), and secondly, they are not at all concerned with the consequences their words might have. It's a good thing, in a way : we have a lot of fun and really don't take ourselves seriously. But honestly, is it reasonable, although we do know Katee can read - even if she doesn't visit the sites dedicated to her everyday -, and her mom has alledgedly posted a few messages on the scifi.com boards (which means she can read too, wow).

*This paragraph is intended for a French audience that doesn't understand what's written by TeamSPank, so it's kind of useless in English* : Anyway, if Katee does indeed read what's posted on this blog and the forum, she might ask herself what she did to deserve so much spanking - because, believe me, she takes a lot of slaps in the face, if you look closely. And I won't even mention all the messages regarding the poor "Last Sentinel" movie - that I had written a unforgettable critic about on my blog.

And that's probably my mistake : spending too much time reading the - hilarious, I agree - messages coming straight from the SPanks' twisted minds - I'm one of them, of course. Therefore, the tone they use made its way into my little head and now comes out through my fingers - still at the expense of poor Katee.

So a question remains : does the famous proverb "Qui bene amat bene castigat" (latin for : Who loves well castigates well) apply here ? Okay, let's say it does... because anyway, we have so much fun that it would be a shame to stop now :p nooo, don't shoot me, Katee !

The TeamSPank Bee Sting Crisis Center

The TeamSPank Bee Sting Crisis Center

aka

Don't Pull ...........Scrape!!!

TeamSPank have recently made the startling discovery that our Team Leader is not only allergic to bees, she is Fucking Terrified Of Them!!! Not only is she Fucking Terrified Of Them AND Allergic to them, she also becomes Mildly Psychotic when they invade her personal space.

Evidence Exhibit A

Prevention

Naturally, as her concerned constituents, we feel that we need to do all that we can to prevent anything unforeseen happening to our SPanker Chief. Unfortunately there is very little we can do to prevent any bees from encroaching on her territory in day to day life. For instance, she might be picking daises in the backyard with which to bedazzle her motorbike, when she inadvertently 'cock blocks' a poor old bee who's just trying to get his regular afternoon honey fix. Nothing TeamSPank can do about that. She might be gunning it down the highway on the said same daisy-bedazzled bike when a rogue bee hits her slap bang in the middle of the face. Nothing TeamSPank can do about that. (Although we did give it a good shot when we tried to convince her to buy a FULL helmet that would have had a protective visor right where that pesky little shit of a bee decided to launch his attack).

Treatment

While the SPankers may not be able to do much in the way of sting prevention we certainly CAN do something on the back-end and help Katee with her emergency treatment. Let's be honest, TeamSPank are no more than a bunch of losers on the internet who really know fuck all about bee sting treatment or anything else that might actually come in handy in real life. But what we can do is GOOGLE!!! So before you read any further below, if you actually for some insane reason find yourself on this page while in the midst of a Katee Sackhoff Bee Sting Crisis, PLEASEEEEE go to the sensible, medically sound sites listed below for help.

Actually, on second thoughts, since bee sting allergies can be serious shit, you need to get the TeamLeader to the hospital ASAP. (If anything untoward happened to The Sackhoff, we might have to start up a TeamTricia Treehouse from scratch, and frankly that would be a fucking drag).

Bee Sting Crisis Center - Legit Links

Bee Sting Allergies & Treatments http://allergies.about.com/od/insectallergies/a/venomallergy.htm Bee Sting Treatment #2 http://firstaid.about.com/od/heatcoldexposure/ht/07_bee_sting.htm

I bet Katee's not smiling

To Pull or To Scrape?

Believe it or not, TeamSPank have done some legitimate research into this subject (which, by our standards, means a 2 minute Google and a quick skim). What we've discovered is that there is much debate about whether or not to scrape off or pull out the stinger. Really, this is a pretty damn controversial topic. The major issue is how much venom gets released into the blood stream.(ta da - evidence of

research skim). Having done this impressive research skim, TeamSPank can confidently recommend that it doesn't really matter what method you use as long as you take that little fucker out as fast as you can.

Phobias

Katee Sackhoff appears to be not only allergic to bees, but pretty shit scared of them too. We've no doubt all heard of the saying "confront your fears". Well, below is something that should help Katee along with this. If she watches this and overcomes her fears, she might still get stung by a bee and the shit could still hit the fan, but at least she won't be frightened anymore.

Here's the link to the full Jace Hall thing - it's made of some serious win (it's also on the media/interview page if you can't watch it at the official site cause you're not an American like me. I can't even tell if that link works).

"how close is the hospital?"

TeamSPank Pimpage Pics

POSTED BY:  AdminiSpanker 

As endorsed by The Sackhoff. Well, she signed them anyway. DJ did most of them. She's the only one around here who has any actual skill, (despite her obvious failings as a human*).

http://www.teamspank.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=389&Itemid=175

Whoever gets to the bottom of the "SP Quirk" issue wins a prize. sarahspank will give you one of her prized official Buffy fan club stickers or something like that (she just doesn't know it yet).

* I think I should be safe to say that as like most of the SPankers, DJ never, ever reads anything anyone else around here writes. In the words of TronSpank, we're the biggest bunch of "grandiose narrassists" he's ever seen. In fact, I'm think of starting one thread for each Spanker at the Treehouse, so we can all go there to write more focused, on-topic shit about ourselves. Actually I don't know whyI'm even typing this. It's not like any of you other SPankers are ever going to notice. Oh well.