Collarbone

Collarbone

ALERT! ALERT! Katee Sackhoff, if you are reading this, we strongly recommend that you exit this page immediately. You SHOULD NOT read the following article under any circumstances, as it may result in you being compelled to wear a Burka for the rest of your days and to never again venture anywhere near a camera. After much debate, it was decided that TeamSpank had to include this incredibly bizarre article under the terms of our OpenSpanking policy and also because we frankly find it rather funny. However, it is not our collarbone being placed under the microscope. If you or your minders feel it is all a little bit too much to cope with, then let us know and it will be summarily deleted. As TeamLeader, you of course have the power to veto any site content. (The contact link is at the bottom of the page). TeamSpank stresses that this article does not represent the opinions and/or sicko fantasies of all Spankers, the majority of whom cannot tell one collarbone from another. We'd also like to point out that it was written by an 19 year old straight female. How does that work? by FatApolloLoveSpank It has come to the attention of several members of TeamSpank (who would notice such things) that Katee Sackhoff (QueenSpank) has an undeniably perfect collarbone. TeamSpank recognizes this fixation as perhaps a bit “pervy”, but we generally like to think of it as mere appreciation for the human form. It is not overly pronounced or obnoxious and would appear to be an ideal place to lick (see glossary: *Lick* (Desired and/or Implied Action)) or nuzzle (see glossary: *Nuzzle Nuzzle* (Desired and/or Implied Action)). TeamSpank also recognizes Katee Sackhoff’s right to be a bit disturbed by this notion of being licked or nuzzled by random people on the street…but it is risk she had to have known she was taking when she appeared in episode 309 (Unfinished Business) which is also known as “Ode to Katee’s BODY” or “Hotness and Nearly-Naked Boxing Is the Fucking Shit”. The above picture is a screen cap that is taken from episode 309 and is a favorite among TeamSpank members when expressing appreciation for Katee’s collarbone. The shadowing and camera angles really expose all its general splendor and perfection. It is perhaps the greatest of the Blatantly Awesome Collarbone pictures. A Blatantly Awesome Collarbone picture refers to a picture in which Katee’s entire collarbone is exposed and looks phenomenal. These pictures are usually captioned with a *Lick* or a *Nuzzle Nuzzle* no matter how many times they are viewed. The majority of this particular type of collarbone picture comes from episode 309 or any episode in which Katee wears the sports bra (see glossary: SportsBra). The above picture is from episode 215 (Scar). It is, for this reason alone, a Q.K.E. (see glossary: Quintessential Katee Episode) However, Blatantly Awesome Collarbone pictures are not exclusive to the SportsBra. There have also been the occasional Blatantly Awesome Naked Collarbone pictures…most of which are exclusive to episode 309 but have also been known to occur on occasion in any episode in which Katee’s character engages in StarSex (see glossary: StarSex). The above picture is from episode 309. Again. Blatantly Awesome Collarbone pictures are not limited to Battlestar Galactica. Luckily for TeamSpank and all the crazed fans who actually get off their asses and attend conventions, Katee Sackhoff manages to bring her collarbone with her everywhere. It definitely puts her in greater danger of being licked, but generally it is pretty decent of her. The above picture is from, I believe, a ComicCon in 2007. In…San Diego? None of Team Spank was in attendance, unfortunately and so they cannot confirm. The location could be confirmed online, of course, but the majority of Team Spank is too lazy to check facts. In any event, notice the collarbone exposure in this blue dress…it is quite remarkable. Notice also the generous and admittedly flawless amount of cleavage (see glossary: Incredible Inflatable Cleavage, The). This is what can also be termed as a Collarbone Combo picture. A Collarbone Combo picture is a picture in which Katee Sackhoff’s collarbone is exposed, along with any other of her Incredibly Desirable Body Parts. This could be her Incredible Inflatable Cleavage or it could also be her chiseled abs (see glossary: Pillow Abs), her jaw-line (see glossary: Intense Jaw-Line), her breastbone (or chestplate), her super-jacked arms, etc. In a Collarbone Combo picture the collarbone can be the main focus, or it could also play just a supporting role. People will generally be more inclined to look at it, even if this is the case, simply because it has a certain thrall which some have called “irresistible”. The above picture is from episode 208 (Final Cut). Speculation suggests the episode title stems from Katee’s “cut” body, which is featured in this episode fairly prominently. Most of TeamSpank feels that this Collarbone Combo picture may even outshine Jamie Bamber’s infamous “Towel Scene”. In addition to Blatantly Awesome Collarbone pictures, Blatantly Awesome Naked Collarbone pictures, and Collarbone Combo pictures there is also the type of picture we like to call Partial Collarbone pictures. This is where one side or half of the collarbone is hidden. This can refer to an article of clothing or simply the way Katee Sackhoff is standing at the time the picture was taken. The above picture is from episode 309 (the extended version). As you can see, only half the collarbone is completely visible simply because of the way Katee is standing. Some less experienced people might think that because only half the collarbone is visible it is only deserving of half the appreciation and/or lust. This is not the case. While it is true that less of the collarbone is visible, one must take into account the Law of Constants (which, in a nutshell, says that just because we can’t see the collarbone doesn’t mean it ceases to exist). So, in the scenario in which the collarbone is hidden because of posture, not clothing, we call these pictures Implied Collarbone. The above picture is from episode 317 (Maelstrom) and is a Q.K.E. (see glossary: Quintessential Katee Episode). As you can see, this is an Implied Collarbone picture because of the nature in which it was shot. Too far away to see any real definition, Katee’s shoulders and general speculative nakedness suggests that her collarbone is fully exposed. This is a very acceptable picture to follow with the appropriate reactions (*Lick* or *Nuzzle Nuzzle*) because sometimes implications are much more powerful than cold, hard evidence. It cannot be expressed enough that Implied Collarbone pictures not be confused with Malicious Collarbone Obstruction pictures. The above picture is from episode 220 (Lay Down Your Burdens: Part II) and is a prime example of a Malicious Collarbone Obstruction picture. As you can see, Katee Sackhoff is wearing an excessive amount of clothing. And while it is quite fetching on her (and while this may or may not be the scene where certain members of TeamSpank made the transition from lusting after Katee Sackhoff to wanting to date and/or marry her) it totally covers any hint of the collarbone. This is completely unacceptable. Thus far, the front half of season 4 is not looking very promising for Katee’s Collarbone. Team Spank has been graced with such startling promotional pictures such as this one: It is well known among Battlestar Galactica fans that Katee Sackhoff’s collarbone suffers most when trapped beneath The Dreaded Flight Suit (which has afforded us the majority of that Malicious Collarbone Obstruction pictures). However, some sketchy (probably very unreliable…since I don’t even remember where it was) source stated that Katee Sackhoff may have expressed that she has, in the front half of season 4, been “naked on set”. This affords us a great amount of hope for the future and gives us something to look forward to during the hiatus. TeamSpank acknowledges the possibility that diction might be misleading and Katee Sackhoff is simply referring to that time she went streaking through Vancouver. Click here to read more fun stories about Katee Sackhoff's Collarbone during BSG Season 4. Malicious Collarbone Obstruction looks like it will be the rule rather than the exception this year, sadly.

Starbuck is a Bad Influence on TeamSPank

POSTED BY:  AUspank 

A little over a year ago, forces were coming together to form something unlike the world had ever known. Planets were aligning, stars were shining and TeamSpank was being formed. In case you've been living on the nuclear wasteland of Caprica and don't know what TeamSpank is, we are a legion of slightly neurotic, but perfectly harmless (usually), fans of Katee Sackhoff. Although, if you are here reading this then you probably already know that.

One year ago this month (March 27th to be exact), TeamSpank became an entity of it's own and moved into their new home, TeamSpank HQ and The TeamSpank Treehouse. It's been a wild and crazy year. We've had good times and bad times and just plain out of control times. Through it all, TeamSpank perservered.

Katee has done some pretty amazing things over the past year too. BSG has ended and she's moving on to bigger and better things. We are all so excited about seeing her in new roles. It always comes back to Starbuck though. That's where it started. That's where we fell in love. TeamSpank would probably not exist without Kara "Starbuck" Thrace.

A few weeks ago, I got the inspiration to make a video in honor of this special time in Spank history. I first thought about making a "Katee" video, highlighting some of her greatest acting moments and how they influenced us. I probably would have lost my mind trying to find video clips from The Last Sentinal and Halloween Resurrection though, so I finally chose to focus on BSG. Even though some of us "met" Katee through different venues, I think we all fell in love with her because of Starbuck. So that's what this video is all about...how we fell in love with Starbuck (and subsequently Katee). Because, let's face it. If we had first seen Katee in TLS and never watched BSG would any of us be here now? I don't think so.

Thanks to all of the Spanks that posted your favorite Starbuck moments. I didn't want the video to be all of my favorite moments, so I asked you guys to step up and you did. There were some scenes that I probably would have never thought of or chosen if it had been left up to me. This truly is a team effort. I tried to include everybody's favorites, but there were a few that I just couldn't make work. I hated that, but the song was only so long.

Also, let me apologize if your name did not make the video. I had a limited number of "you's" to fill and more Spanks than I knew what to do with. I felt bad having to leave anybody out, but it couldn't be helped. So I devised a little formula to use and came up with the exact number I needed. Basically, if your name didn't make the video, you haven't been here in several months or you've made very few posts. Bottom line...YOU SHOULD SPANK MORE AND OFTEN!!

That's enough rambling. Here's the video. I hope you like it!!

Kara Thrace's Top 25 Defining Moments

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank 

 

Here's a fantastic article by taragel on Live Journal. A must read for Spankers & Starbuck/BSG fans. Good times:

http://taragel.livejournal.com/38649.html

Sorry Excuse for a SpankBlog

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank 

Disclaimer: This blog is not my finest hour. It really has nothing going for it whatsoever. Not that any of my previous efforts have been much chop, but this one is really weak sauce.

Well then, there is no earth-shattering news to divulge, so I thought I'd make a weirdie-emo jigsaw puzzle instead (see below). My apologies. What can I say? I had a massive brain explosion when I added the jigsaws to the site. You've gotta admit though, they are pretty damn relaxing to do.

Oh Oh Oh!!! I remembered something worth passing on - everyone in the planet is being cojoled invited to participate in DJ's phenomenal poll: TeamSpank Awards: The Sackhoff. If every living soul in the Northern Hemisphere (and most countries in the Southern Hemisphere) does not participate in that (admittedly sensational) poll, I think DJ is going to top herself. So have a heart - do it for her. Take one for the team. (I think DJ is even trying to solicit a vote from my dog). Speaking of polls, there is also a new SpankPoll on the main site. This one is entitled "The best thing about The Last Sentinel was...." It's a far less accomplished effort than DJ's poll, but still possibly cathartic for anyone who seen that sublime cinematic achievement.


This is a terrific new interview with Katee (from early Feb 2009). Good to know that she is in good health and still multi-tasking during her interviews. That girl hasn't changed a bit.

There are a couple of skerricks of news I guess. The Sackhoff appeared in Nip/Tuck and BSG this week, so that was good times for the Spankers. Apparenlty her tragically brief Law & Order appearance was also re-aired in the States. (Pfff wasn't that a fizzer? I thought she was gonna be in the whole fucking thing)! Anyway, some saint has uploaded Katee's Nip/Tuck scenes to YouTube. Woohoo!

Lookin' a million bucks there. I'm kinda glad she's only doing a few epis of 'Nip' though. As shows go, it seems pretty bloody ridiculous. Still that doesn't make much difference to the Spankers, who, as we all know, will watch Katee Sackhoff in anything. (The person who uploaded that vid should be knighted or something).
So yo, if by some weird fluke one of The Sackhoff's pubicists stumbles across this can you please leak some little tidbits of info about if the new show is gonna be picked up, cause I for one can't hack the bloody suspense. I'm far more concerned about that than if I'm gonna have to hock my car to pay my next tax bill. I think I'd rather be forced into riding a skateboard around than to hear that Lost & Found got the flick.

So here's the jigsaw puzzle. I recommend the 240 classic cut, for the full cathartic experience. Happy times. Or not.



... oh forgive me. I forgot where I was for a minute there. Not because of the jigsaw (although that is pretty distracting), but because a person that I know in real life was doing a very saucy sex scene on a TV show. That's far more information than you ever want to know about someone you go to the pub with. So anyway, apologies again for my crappy thread-bare blog. I really need more hard facts to work my brand of bullshit with. Join us Spankers over at The Treehouse if you've got nothing better to do. (Actually, it would be a pretty pathetic state of affairs if you didn't have something better to do with your life than hang at the Treehouse).

Well I'm done for now thankfully. Spank hard, Spank often.

Maxi