Spank Meets Sackhoff

Spank Meets Sackhoff

Written by MaxiSpank

28-29th March 2009 Last weekend I became the third official Spanker to meet Katee Sackhoff. (Actually I think there are more, but they met her pre-TeamSpank, so that doesn't count). I thought I'd better write it all up before the rest of you whip my arse, and also because when Swimmer and Starby met her, they only managed to produce a hysterical, blubbering rant. Let's see if I can do better. (I know I'm gonna ramble - that's ok. No-one has to read it). I would have never in a zillion years considered going to the US to one of those Con things, but freakishly, The Sackhoff as good as came to me - so I really had to get my finger out and get my arse down to Melbourne on a reconnaissance mission for the Spankers. I got to meet Katee S a couple of times and have a couple of chats, so my efforts were successful I guess. She was totally sweet and lovely, but I must confess I felt like a massive, utter loser. You don't have any identity at those things to distinguish yourself. Your self-esteem takes a beating. It's a pretty uneven way to meet someone. I really wanted to tell Katee that my TV show is about 500 times more popular in Australia than hers is and that pretty much everyone in the building would have heard my work, even if they didn't know who I was - I just wanted her to know that I wasn't the total loser that I must have seemed to be. But obviously that would have been silly, pathetic and inappropriate and she wouldn't have given a shit anyway, so I didn't bother. Either way, she would have totally forgotten me by now so it's not like it matters. It must be pretty hard going meeting a shitload of needy strangers like that and keeping a smile on your face the whole time. She's obviously a total pro at it though. She was really nice & open. That Hayden chick from Heroes was there too & I got the vibe that she wasn't as comfortable with the whole thing, which is fair enough since she's very young. It looked like she and Katee S were pals. Richard Hatch was there too and he was a very welcoming, generous, cool dude. In the first chat, I confessed my TeamSpank sins & Katee confirmed that she's read some of the stuff on the site. I was very relieved she didn't rip me a new one there on the spot. A couple of site things she's read include that sarcastic piece of snark "The Helmet" and also DJ's review of Katee's playlist. I have a feeling that Katee may be a tad sensitive about her playlist and that DJ's review pretty much hit her where it hurts. (By the way Katee, when DJ called you "a sick, sick fuck and a genuine Spank" - she meant that as a huge compliment). On that note, I'd like to point out to Katee that I have also seen DJ's playlist, which contains an Avril Lavigne song. DJ, you are in NO position to be judging Katee Sackhoff. You really should be burying your head in the sand. I was pretty mortified to learn that Katee (and Tricia H) had read "The Helmet", considering that thing was 100% me. Apparently having read it, Katee said something like "I don't care; I'm still not going to get a full helmet". haha. Katee, I didn't mean for anyone to heed my advice or anything. I was just bored and saw a photo and thought it would be a funny, random thing to write about. I've only ever ridden a motorcycle once - I got the brake and accelerator mixed up and crashed head first into a barbed-wire fence after about 30 secs. I'm obviously NO expert in these matters. That thing has a new-ish (Jan 2009) addition at the end by the way. About Tricia. At that first meeting I also got Katee to autograph a bunch of TeamSpank Pimpage Banners, which were mainly put together by DJ. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I actually paid money for someone's autograph (something I always vowed I'd never do - too much like paying for sex or something). But anyway, I guess it was worth it because now we've got some more shit to pimp around the website & Treehouse. Katee looked at me like I was on crack when she asked me what to write on them and I said "oh, whatever you like". I don't know the etiquette for these things - I've never asked for an autograph before in my life. Katee said she thought she was sick on the day of the sleeping one, which makes me feel a little like we're having a laugh at her expense (this wouldn't be the first time). Some Spankers have been saying that my balls are made of steel since I got her to sign the "fucking hates us" one. Honestly guys, we've all heard Katee say 'fuck'. She wasn't going to be offended. If she didn't want to sign it, that would be fair enough, but it's not like she hadn't come across the term "fucking" before. She was actually far more interested in where that picture came from (that Bear M thing). Damn, Katee does some truly sublime death stares. Scary shit. She's not someone you'd really want to piss off too much. Based on recent events, I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate us. Except for DJ. The second chat I had with Katee was mainly about the online thing - about how some folks people have been misquoting shit she's said in interviews and at cons and how some of them have been pretty hateful. I think she might be a bit burned by it, but at least she doesn't read that crap anymore, thank God. She'd only just learned about that horrid Cort & Fatboy Q&A fall out a day or so before. I mentioned that I didn't think that Anders/Trucco thing at the Cort & Fatboy night was a spoiler at all & she agreed. I felt that side of the show was already over and no-one was going to be getting loved up with anyone any more, (flashbacks aside). When I was watching it, it seemed to me that she was pouring her heart out about how her friend had almost been killed and her feelings about that just took over when they were filming - because her friendship was more important. That was how any decent human being would feel in that situation. Also Trucco, having just had a near fatal accident that could have left him paralysed, had some physical limitations and they had to factor that into the script. Somehow that ended up being a massive character assassination of Katee because Kara & Lee didn't get to have a final shag in the long grass at the end. So shallow. (That's my view on it - KS didn't say any of that). Katee did two 'panels' at this thing, both of which I attended. They were both totally delightful - she did her usual thing of starting off really shy and then warming into it with rambling, fun answers to the audience Q&As. I was actually impressed with my countrymen - who seemed pretty knowledgeable about Katee and BSG. There were hardly any dumb questions. I didn't think Katee would be famous at all in Aus and I thought she might have to buy her own ticket to get into the con thing. But the room was packed for both panels - 200 people each time maybe. It's a testament to the power of bit torrents really - because BSG is really hard to watch any other way in Australia. There were lots of BSG type questions at these things, but I'm not gonna talk about them 'cause I'm kinda sick of BSG right now. There were lots of fun anecdotes as well. Here are a couple… She was talking about how awkward she felt filming the Nip/Tuck sex scenes. She said something like "you may all think you want to see my ass, but trust me, you don't". Her bike gang with Tricia H & their partners is known as "The Acting Outlaws". Katee said they are going to get jackets and logos. There is an abbreviation for it but I couldn't make it out. Trucco is also in the gang, and apparently Trucco's fiancé is learning to ride and about to join. Katee seemed quite pumped about having a third chick in the gang. Katee was chilling at an airport and in the background she heard a high pitched yell "Kateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Kateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". She wanted to duck for cover, but she turned to have a look. It was Quentin Tarantino. He sat down with her and started talking non-stop about BSG without ever introducing himself. She is massively addicted to Twilight and would happily play a plant in the next movie. She forced her BF to watch it and he didn't sound too impressed. The actors had a theory about the end of BSG, that the Battlestar would find Earth and start to land but that Bush would blow it out of the sky. One interesting thing that happened at these panels is that we weren't allowed to enter with cameras and phones - we had to leave them at the door. At the first Q&A I just thought the organisers were being control freak dicks - I moaned as much as anybody. However at the second Q&A Katee apologised profusely and she explained 'the ban' was at her request because of people quoting her out of context and misconstruing things. I felt kinda sad for her when she was talking about it - because it's totally true. Some people have been viscious schmucks. It's sad that she doesn't feel she can speak freely without people putting shit on her on the internet. Katee, in case you've ever bothered to return to TeamSpank and read down this far - I didn't get a chance to mention it when we met but I wish I'd have said that the negativity is only coming from a very small, yet extremely vocal section of the BSG fan base (some, but by no means all of the Kara & Lee 'shippers' who enjoy that element of the show above anything else). They take their disappointments out on you. They have done since Trucco returned to the show after his first couple of episodes. Now BSG is over that will all hopefully become ancient history. The rest of the BSG fan base, other supporters such as TeamSpank and pretty much the rest of the entire world totally loves your candid, fun interview style and pretty much thinks the sun shines out of your arse. Say whatever you wanna say. Don't ever change for anyone. Well that pretty much sums up my odd little weekend, except to say that I should have never gone in the first place because I had way too much work to do and I've been pulling all-nighters ever since to make up for it. I also spent an excessive amount of $$$ but let's not talk about that. Oh, and I got a speeding ticket driving home from Sydney airport - if I get another one before November my ghost is toast. No soul in the 'real world' knows that I actually went, because had they known, they would have teased me mercilessly. When my mother asked me where I was, I said "at a pop culture event/conference at the showground". I wasn't lying. I was in Melbourne but she thought I meant Sydney. Lucky the plane didn't crash on the way home. That would have left a true mystery. Anyway apart from all that, I'd say it was totally worth it. I'd be kicking myself forever had I not gone.

I Burned My Leg Watching Battlestar Galactica!

POSTED BY:   MaxiSpank 

 

I'm only posting about this here because I am strangely proud of this accomplishment and want the world to know. Who else in fandom can lay claim to being so engrossed in a TV show that they didn't notice their leg burning and consequently had to go to hospital the next day cause it was a hot painful mess?

 

The back story is that I had to wait for hours for the torrent to download for "Daybreak Part I" - something that I have to deal with each and every week. Anyway, as I was waiting, I was surfing away and idly gossiping about a whole lot of nothing much, as we Spankers tend to do. So I was sitting there with my lappy resting on my leg, and eventually the torrent finished downloading so away I went. It was kinda cold outside, but my lappy was multi-tasking and acting as a bit of a heater. I was content and cosy, and getting very engrossed in the show. After a while, i started t think that my defacto heater was over-reaching a bit and I was getting a little hot, but what did I care - BSG WAS ON.

Then about 15 minutes later my leg felt REAL hot and my laptop suddenly overheated and conked out. I kind of had the shits with this fact and shoved it angrily off my lap.OMG. The state of my leg. It was this big red mush the size of a grape fruit, with a couple of enormous blisters and tons of satellite blisters. So gross. At least I had to deal with it, so I had something to do in the excruciating wait while my laptop cooled down again and I could reboot. I was more pissed about being interrupted (aka 'cock-blocked') mid BSG epi. That's just not on. Anyway I went and got it checked out the next day and its on the mend.

I'm just so proud of it though. I really need to get a life. I really should add a picture of it, but then I'd have to hide it under spoiler tags cause it would REALLY spoil your appetite

Not Another SpankBlog

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank 

 

So then, I believe it's just about time for a New Year's SpankBlog. Seasons greetings, all ye Spankers. Forgive the lateness but a) I've been busy b) I've been uninspired c) there hasn't been much news to speak of and d) I'm a fickle slackarse (we spell 'arse' differently in my neck of the woods). Anyway, I think it's about time we had a chat about the new show (and maybe manicures) so here we go…

Sackhoff Do A Duchovny?
In case you haven't heard, Katee S is working on a new show for NBC. Spankers are delighted for Katee, regardless of whether the show turns out to be high art or a complete dog. This is because Katee is THE STAR and it's on a big network, which can only mean one thing - shitloads of $$$. Woohoo! She's gonna be able to afford a new Harley D to match every designer biker outfit that she buys on her shopping jaunts with Tricia.

This new show is still in the pilot stage and could get boned, as we like to call it in Australia, (thrown on the scrap heap). I guess we will hear in a couple of months if it's a goer. The pilot is being filmed right now. It's a Dick Wolf thing called "Lost & Found" but it's thankfully not like Law & Order. It's supposed to be more of a black comedy, which sounds cool to me because I thought that Katee was funny as all fuck in Bionic Woman. ("jogging partner").

It's being filmed around LA, and this led me to start thinking that good ol' Katee may have successfully pulled off a Duchovny. For those not in the know, "Doing a Duchovny" refers to the infamous X-Files upheaval of a few years back, where the star, David Duchovny, somehow managed to have the entire production pulled from Canada to LA, just so he could shag Tea Leoni on a more frequent basis (because, as we know, David D is a self-confessed sex addict and needs are needs).

But I digress. A few months back, (circa the BSG "pink strapless dress event"), Katee mentioned in an interview that she had been offered to star in her own show in New York, but that she knocked it back as she didn't want to live apart from her BF anymore. Now, I have no idea if she was talking about "Lost & Found", but as a proud, card-carrying TeamSpanker I prefer to believe that the producers of the new show decided that they couldn't possibly do the thing without Katee - she was the only one for them - and that they decided to move the entire bloody thing to LA so that Katee could walk around the corner to work every morning and not have to lift a finger.
On hearing of the new show, the TeamSpank hierarchy held a crisis meeting and decided that we needed to add an addendum to our constitution. Here it is...

TeamSpank strictly prohibits the inclusion of any clarinet in the theme music to Lost & Found, whether it be used in a short but nauseating solo or just as an ensemble instrument. Clarinets are OUT!

Go here to read the entire Constitution and Amendments of TeamSpank.

DJ and Fats worked tirelessly on this sucker. Pity they didn't bother to proof read it.

You will find their comprehensive, probing "History of TeamSpank" in the same place. Compulsory reading for all who take their Spanking seriously.

So here is what could well be the first on set photo from "Lost & Found" to make it's way to the internets. It's from Venice Beach.

I stumbled on the pic here. Not the best pic of all time, but none-the-less historic.
(The dude with KS, Brian Cox, is a sensational actor).

Manicures
Moving on to BSG. Sometimes A Great Notion, which aired a few days back, was a bit of a wrist slasher, was it not? If BSG gets really low ratings in the next epi, its because half of the regular BSG viewership have just topped themselves. I'm not gonna put anyone to sleep with my last cylon theories or my existential analyses, ( because everyone probably fell asleep the minute they read "here's my new blog"). What am I am going to do is point out that Starbuck's nails looked amazing. Where is that girl (or whatever she is) getting her manicures? I want a referral. I would have thought, what with all of the death and doom and destruction and whatnot, that Starbuck might be a tad stressed out right about now, but the girl is obviously not a biter.

Oh and on a brighter note, was I the only Spanker who noticed the following?

Granted, most Spankers where probably far too shocked and distraught at that particular reveal to pay too much attention to the colour and length of Dead Starbuck' hair. But then I don't get out much.

OK then, that's more than enough for me (probably for the next few months). Come over to the Treehouse and meet up with other Spankers if you haven't already. If not, have a nice life. Oh, and don't forget to read the next instalment in Swimmer's MEZ series below - the comprehensive and yet mildly disturbing Magical Expression Zone Part 2.

Maxi