The (not so) Epic Countdown to 'Riddick: Rule The Dark'

So, Katee's newest film and big screen debut (we think), Riddick is hitting theatres on September 6th, 2013, and TeamSPank is really super jazzed about it. I mean, I'll probably go and see this film at least twice, which is two times more than I ever see anything at the movie theatre (with the exception of the X-Men films, until they killed Professor Xavier and created a nemesis for life out of KeikeyaSpank). Some Spanks might even see it FIVE TIMES (but can't make any promises).

Anyway, since this is a REALLY BIG DEAL, we decided to do a fun little countdown to Riddick to get all of you excited about it, too. So, let's get it started:



Reason #30: This isn't about vampires and werewolves. I don't really think I need to explain this.

Just What is TeamSPank and How Was it Born?

You may have already heard of TeamSPank before finding your way here.  Perhaps you've asked yourself, "Why do they call themselves that?" or "How did they come to be?"  Well, here is everything (and probably more) that you ever wanted to know about TeamSPank.

There once was an actress named Katee Sackhoff.  She was on a little show called Battlestar Galactica (or BSG for short) on the SciFi network (or skiffy for short).  Skiffy had a huge forum dedicated to BSG with tons and tons of threads full of exciting people.  During the last half of 2007, a number of people started to gather and feel at home in a place called The Katee Sackhoff Appreciation Thread.  There were all kinds of people of all ages from all over the world with one thing in common -- an unhealthy obsession with Katee Sackhoff and/or Starbuck. 

So why do we call ourselves SPanks?  Well, on August 1, 2007 Katee Sackhoff appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live!  Pure magic happened that night.  Katee provided this group of devoted fans something priceless.  She explain that her brother, Erick, had the nickname "Spank" growing up.  This had something to do with some kind of activity that rhymes with Sackhoff.  I'm not sure exactly what that's all about.  Anyway, Erick's friends even called Katee "Littlespank" and Mrs. Sackhoff "Maspank."  Thus The SPanks were born.  Unfortunately, I can't embed the video but here's the link to it... 

Katee Sackhoff on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Do yourself a huge favor and watch that video! 

In March of 2008, TeamSPank became too much for skiffy to contain.  So the SPanks set out on an adventure to find a home of their own.  The original TeamSpank HQ and Treehouse were started and thrived for several years.  So much happened during that time.  Many friendships were forged and memories were made.  Unfortunately, both sites succumbed to the evil of Russian hackers in late 2011.  Out of necessity, Treehouse 2.0 was started along with a new TeamSPank Blog. 

Now, you may be wondering to yourself why I keep making typos and putting a capital "P" in the word "SPank."  Well, it's not a typo.  This little phenomenon was first noticed when a couple of SPanks (Starby and Swim) met Katee Sackhoff and got her to autograph something for the SPanks.        

We didn't think that much about it until some time later when our fearless leader MaxiSpank got another autograph from Katee. 

You may be inclined to think that Katee was just having an off day and signed a bunch of stsuff with random capital letter.  However, these two autographs occured months apart and were signed on two different continents.  For whatever reason, when Katee writes "TeamSPank" she capitalizes the P.  We thought it was endearing and only fitting that we should do the same. 

As you can see, this is a VERY scaled down version of the history of TeamSPank.  You can find a much more detailed history HERE.  However, that is mostly the history of DJ and Fats and how they were in love with themselves and each other.  Just kidding. (Not really.)  Love you guys! 

So, does that just about cover ever thing? Anybody have any questions?  

TeamSPank, Longmire, and Katee Sackhoff

Greetings!

Sorry for the long absence. We've been trying to get our act together. If you know anything about us SPanks, you know this is nearly impossible for us. However, we are going to make an attempt to make our presence known. We do not in any way pretend to be anything official regarding Katee Sackhoff. We are a group of fans that have been around in one form or another since Katee's days on BSG. We may occasionally post newsworthy stuff but will never make an attempt to take the place of Katee's official website. Most of the stuff we post will be the total opposite of news. It will be mindless drabble for our own immature entertainment. That's how we roll.

The SPanks are super excited that Katee Sackhoff will be back on our television screens tonight! We are so stoked about Longmire that we can hardly contain ourselves. Here's a little preview...

If you're just now discovering the awesomeness of Katee Sackhoff feel free to check us out. The link to where we hang out is on the right side of your screen. Click it and see what we're do in our spare time.

Stay tuned for further "news" and happenings of Katee Sackhoff and TeamSPank!! Next up..."Just What is TeamSPank and How Was it Born?"

The List

The List

by TeamSpank

Att: Ms Katee Sackhoff, if you're out there:

We at TeamSpank HQ advise that you print the following document, (A.K.A. "The List"), attach it to your bathroom mirror and recite it out loud and proud before any future auditions and/or hot dates. Your agent should probably print a few copies also, to pass on to prospective employers who will thereafter be compelled to throw themselves submissively at your feet. The facts expressed in this document are sourced from interviews, video archives, still images and often from your own mouth, with a few educated guesses thrown in for fun - just because we can. The document is scientific and objective, with a slight smattering of saucy subjectivity - just because we don't get out much.

Katee, you should find "The List" extremely empowering and will consequently have no problem in landing any future job that you're after - or any hot boy that you're after for that matter. You should be extremely proud of all of your accomplishments and wear them as a badge of honor. Well done, sista. A+

(Katee, you can download a printable copy of The List from here, so that you can take it home and study it)

Katee Sackhoff - Curriculum Vitae

Special Talents/Accomplishments

• Mastery of offensive language.
• Can blow other folks off the screen, even while remaining still, silent and doing nothing in particular.
• Looks outstanding when sweaty.
• Rides a Harley D (or maybe a crappy little Honda).
• Gives good lip quiver. Particularly dexterous with the lower one.
• All the critics thought SHE should be the Bionic Woman. Na, na na na na.
• Spells her name unusually, because she's an individual and because she's too cool for school.
• Fan: "How fast can a viper go?" Katee: "As fast as the crew can push it". Haaaa. And she's a comedian.
• Prefers to do her own stunts. Remember that frisky scene from 'Scar' where Bamber gropes at Starbuck's undies?
  Not a stunt-arse.
• Is an exceptional juggler.
• Vastly experienced at skin scenes (and will use tongue).
• Can knit.
• Can put together an AK47 blindfolded and kill you with a knife
• Loves to gut her own fish. sick puppy.
• Is an animal lover. Bought a pup even though it was pissing on a picture of her head.
• She is very kind hearted. Only the most forgiving of souls could love a pug and yet she loves two of them.
• Takes her craft seriously. For example, studied her O-Face in the mirror.
• Wears a tank-top in a manner that is frankly pretty impressive.
• Has great volume and projection when she improv spits. Can achieve impressive distance.
• Has been decapitated on celluloid. Her corpse-less head did some of the best acting in that film.
• An existential thinker. Used the phrase "Happy as a clam". Can a clam truly be happy? How does one know for sure? Deep.
• Can sing - possibly even better than Hillary Duff. ("Hillary Duff - the gauntlet has been thrown!")
• Is an equal opportunity sex symbol:
  
  
  • Straight men want to marry her.
  • Straight women want to turn for her.
  • Lesbians want to frak her.
  • Gay men want her to frak them.
  • Transgenders aren't really sure what they want to do with her, but they promise it'll be a good time.
• Owner/operator of the 8th Wonder of the Natural World, the Katee Sackhoff Miraculous Quivering Chin. (nb the chin quiver and the lip quiver are distinctly different talents).
• Has appeared in at least 2 craptaculor films that many of her otherwise erudite fans were irresistibly yet perhaps regrettably compelled to watch. (The Last Sentinal, Halloween:Resurrection). Oh the humanity.
• What do these three women have in common: Imelda Marcos, Carrie Bradshaw, Katee Sackhoff?
  Hint: I can't see Mrs Marcos working the 'Come-Fuck-Me' boots quite as effectively as the other two ladies.
• Is totally a perfectionist. Case in point: a fan asked her if she had any regrets about her universally praised*, undeniably brilliant performance in 'Maelstrom'. After a moment's pause, Ms Sackhoff thoughtfully replied,
  "Actually I do. I wish that I had worn a bra. I have to try to remember that I'm not 21 anymore". Does any woman alive rock harder than this chick?
• Katee Sackhoff: "Dee, who???". ha.....
• Is a staunch advocate against discrimination & demonstrates this through her career choices. For example, was completely indiscriminate in choosing to appear in "The Last Sentinel".
• People have been known to find her collarbone extremely enticing and have studied its impressive structure in great detail and from many different angles.
  Mildly disturbing evidence of these studies can be found elsewhere on this site.
• Can be vey probing and insightful in interviews. For example once said "I'm gonna build an ark and pull a rabbit out of my butt". Pretty damn probing from the rabbit's perspective.
• Gives Oscar caliber performances even when appearing in documentary short films. In "Sex, Lies and a Videoblog", was so convincing that many of the audience actually believed she was knocked up with David Eick's love child. Her death stares were so venomous that even David Eick seemed to believe her. (In your dreams, David Eick). A nod must also go to Katee in "Sex, Lies" for frequent and creative use of profanity in an improvised piece.
• Is an exceptional juggler. (Repeated for emphasis).
  
  * except by those ignorant old codgers who vote for the Emmys.
  
  
  And now, for a complete change of pace:

Courtesy of StyloSpank (Note to blokes everywhere: this is how to get a chick in the sack):

• Flowers bloom just to make her smile.
• She makes blood thunder in your ears
• Her smile outshines the sun
• Your heart sings in her presence.
• Makes you want to ride to her rescue but can rescue you, when you screw it up.
• Skin looks as soft as rose petals
• Eyes can capture your heart and soul
• Can inspire you to be greater than you are
• Worth all costs, any price

And from the illustrious RileySpank (formerly AFRiley):

• Makes tomboys look hot.
• Makes walking like a man sexy.
• Looks great with purple highlights.
• Can put a smile on our faces any day.
• Makes boxing seem like foreplay.

Another addition from a seemingly dumb-struck admirer, Tschevy20:

• I can't think of anything half as funny or interesting to say to her. Except I love her.

Only one contribution thus far from EldarKinSlayer but it's pure gold (once you figure out what it means):

• Casey carried her to the top of the MILF list even though she really hasn't had any kids.

Contributions from FALSpank - formerly FatApolloLove. (Not the soft-core porn I was expecting, but still mildly saucy):

• can make otherwise happily heterosexual girls want to date/marry/be ON her.
• looks best when wearing a white sheet
• manages to outshine apollo's infamous "towel" scene with her "paintsex/bunk-writhing" scene...which, if you've seen apollo, isn't easy.
• looks stunning when all dolled up, but looks even better when covered with sweat, dirt, grease, and blood
• maybe you hated her in "unfinished business", but all she had to do was say "i missed you" at the end and everything she did do, will do, or ever thought about doing is completely forgiven (although, the sports bra didn't hurt either...). yes, she's just that good.
• is a sexy bag of sex.

Contributions from Slovenia by 3ripleSpank (formerly 3nity).
(A disturbing number of Katee Sackhoff fans can now swear fluently in Slovenian because of this person):

• She is excellent in jumping from mood to mood in a blink of an eye. Bljak!
• She's a girlie girl but has everyone fooled that she's a tough tom boy and this is very njami.
  (I'm not gonna translate for you).

Our newest Team Spank member, SpinnySpank, adds the following to Ms Sackhoff's mind-boggling list:

• Can tie the stem of a cherry with her tongue.
• Is very good at doing the thing that's the alias for the man who gave the anonymous tip to the newspapers in the Watergate scandal that led to President Nixon's resignation.

My US political history isn't spot on, but I believe that Spinny may be referring to Katee's amazing juggling technique, which we have covered previously. Oh well, her brilliance in this area can't be stated enough.

A new entry by larocque6689, the future LaroSpank, who is currently struggling with an Unfinished Business fixation apparently:

• Katee can make you lust after her, even after she's shattered your heart into a thousand pieces, and abandoned you for another man.

(I'd just like to point out that this person posts erudite articles in the Okay thread and yet has been reduced to such tragic utterances by the mysterious and perhaps evil powers of Ms Sackhoff).

Some midnight add-ons from LittleSpank (formerly DJVillian):

• Can work a sports bra in a unique and specific way.
• Some physical attributes include: Starbangs, wonderful shoulder muscles and a very "intense" jawline.
• Can use eyes and lips to convey emotions that are not written in the script.
• Can invoke reactions such as *nuzzle nuzzle*, *lick* and *THUD* from an otherwise articulate fan base.
• Appreciates her own acting ability almost as much as her fans. When asked "Who is your favorite character on TV?" she said, "Starbuck, but I'm a little biased" and when asked "What is your favorite episode of BSG?" her answer was "Maelstrom, because I was in it a bunch". Gold, pure gold.

And finally, a speech by StyloSpank, Katee's Knight in Shining Cyberspace. It's not really shit you'd put on your CV, but it speaks for us all and we thought it'd make her parents proud:

"I'd like to thank Katee's parents and their genes, the results of which are truly stunning.

I'd like to thank her Mom as she seems to have a great sense of humor and seems to have passed that on.

I would like to thank her brother who loves her enough to be totally uncomfortable when she discusses sexual experiences and last, I would like to thank Katee for being sister enough to not pass on digging in on her brother a bit because she knows it makes him uncomfortable. Just too funny".

Under Construction!

Hey Spanks! 

I'm starting the process of copying all of the old blog posts from teamspank.com over to the new TeamSPank Blog.  I'm copying everything as is and crediting the author at the top of each one.  Hopefully, I'll get it all right!  Let me know if I muck something up. 

I'm NOT checking or fixing any of the links though.  So if there's an old teamspank.com link it won't work.  Sorry.

Toodles!

AU

What's Going On?!?

Welcome to the new blog for TeamSPank!  It's still under construction so be patient with us.  We are going to try to eventually move as much of content from the old teamspank.com website over here. 

Plus, if there's any new stuff that people would like to contribute about our fearless team leader, know yourselves out!  You'll just have to send me a message before you can post (auspank@gmail.com).  Just remember that this may be a little easier to find and, thus, more public than the treehouse so don't get too out of control.  Keep it tasteful! 

If by chance you found this blog and have no clue what TeamSPank is then you're in for a treat.  We are the most loyal and dedicated fans of Katee Sackhoff.  Some might say we are borderline stalkers but in reality most of us would run the other way if we, for some odd reason, bumped into Katee.

Twilight Turmoil - The Spanker Civil War - Sackhoff Implored to Mediate

POSTED BY:  bellaspank 

 

This article is a cry out for help to our Team Leader. TeamSpank is in total disarray. The Spankers are distraught. Never in it's entire long and colorful history has TeamSPank seen such conflict. Such tension. Such hate. We are at a crossroads and this is all because of Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores). It has split our beloved Team right down the middle and it's frankly getting ugly. We need some guidance - some intervention - before our whole world of SPanking turns completely to shit. Our Team Leader is something of an expert on this issue and so we're sure she'll know what to do. TeamSpank can survive without BSG, without Lost & Found, without The Last Sentinel even, but I don't think we're going to be able to survive this.

Katee - helpppppppppp!

Things have gotten so out of hand that some Spankers are trying to 'psych out' their fellow Spankers with emotional warfare. For example, founding spanker FatApolloLoveSpank, has taken to shoving the following picture down her oppositions' throats in an all out assault on her Twilight foes.

Pure evil. And pretty damn funny. Some spankers have taken to tricking others into watching YouTube vids of Twilight scenes by renaming the link "Katee Sackhoff Lost & Found Promo". That's just fucking low.
Yes the Spankers are divided. On one side we've got the "Twilight Lovers" and on the other side we've got the "Twilight Haters". Then we've also got this fence-sitting in between group - the "Twilight Couldn't Give A Shitters".
Some Spankers really seem to HATE Twilight. So much so that the TeamSpank Executive Council have had to impose some special measures at the TeamSpank Treehouse. They have set the word censor to work, preventing some of the more contentious, shit-stirring words being used by belligerent Spankers. Here are a couple of examples:

• The word "Twilight" now becomes - "Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)".
  Let's call a spade a spade. Katee Sackhoff does adore Twilight and the "haters" need that fact shoved down their throats as often as possible.

• The word "hate" now becomes - "love with the fire of a thousand suns".
  We don't 'hate' at TeamSpank, so those hostile outbursts have got to stop. (Blame/thank SwimSpank for this one).

see below for some examples of usage

Make no mistake - Katee Sackhoff is a Twilight Lover. There is no debate about this. Spankers have personally, with their own eyes, live and in living color, seen our Team Leader wear a Twilight T-Shirt. You don't wear a T-Shirt and force your boyfriend to watch the movie under sufferance if you are a "Hater" or a "Couldn't Give A Shitter". The very fact that this woman bothers to launder clothing that is ablaze with a Twilight logo shows TRUE commitment.

Evidence (as doctored by DJspanker)

Even though my namesake is a protagonist in the story, I would still fall into the "Twilight Couldn't Give A Shitter" group - I haven't seen a frame of the movie or read a page of the book series and I don't understand what all the fuss is about, (although I must say the lead boy and girl seem fairly enticing). Having said that, I am predisposed to favoring the 'Twilight Lovers', purely because it's fun getting a rise out of the people who seem to love with the fire of a thousand suns it so much. But whichever way Spankers swing on this issue, we need to resolve the conflict now. Stop the insanity! Can't we all just try to get along?

Katee Sackhoff - what on earth are we going to do? Help!!!!

__________________________________

A sample of Twilight word censor usage, courtesy of Stylo Spanker. This is what he typed:

And as twilight approaches through the window behind my desk,....I realise that I did not get to eat today and only drank half of the coke on my desk. But a half a coke by twilight is better than no coke at all and soon my twilight snacks will be just smashing.

The censor changed it to this:

And as Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores) approaches through the window behind my desk,....I realise that I did not get to eat today and only drank half of the coke on my desk. But a half a coke by Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores) is better than no coke at all and soon my Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores) snacks will be just smashing.

If anyone quotes or repeats Stylo, then the truly sublime Twilight Infinite Loop Anomaly kicks in and you get this:

And as Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)(which Katee Sackhoff adores) approaches through the window behind my desk,....I realise that I did not get to eat today and only drank half of the coke on my desk. But a half a coke by Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)(which Katee Sackhoff adores) is better than no coke at all and soon my Twilight (which Katee Sackhoff adores)(which Katee Sackhoff adores) snacks will be just smashing.

Yes the Twilight word censor is a thing of rare beauty. It mightn't be doing much to help end the Civil War Crisis, but it's certainly fun knowing that everytime the "haters" see it, they die just a little bit more on the inside.

De l'influence de TeamSPank sur les fans de Katee...

POSTED BY:  Sarah (aka RiriSpank)

Comme Maxi m'y a invitée plusieurs fois, il est grand temps que je poste un article en Français sur TeamSpank... Après tout, c'est un site international, censé réunir tous les fans de Katee, donc il est bien normal que la webmiss de la seule source francophone (Dossier Katee Sackhoff) ajoute son grain de sel. Et c'est justement après une mise à jour de mon site que je suis amenée à me pencher sur une question de la plus cruciale importance : dans quelle mesure TeamSpank déteint-elle sur les fans de Katee - vous et moi, donc ? (je dis "elle", pour TeamSpank, par rapport au mot "Team" qui, en français, signifie "équipe")

Autrefois d'une innocence sans égale et en plus pure admiration devant notre TeamLeader - autrement dit Katee Sackhoff - je surprends les news de mon site à adopter un ton de plus en plus sarcastique vis-à-vis de Ms Sackhoff. Jugez en par vous-mêmes :

C'est officiel, nous pouvons à présent affirmer avec certitude que Katee sait taper à l'ordinateur ! Mieux que ça, elle sait changer son statut sur Facebook...

Depuis quand est-ce que je me permets de supposer ainsi que Katee ne sait pas se servir d'un ordinateur ? Qui m'a donné des ailes pour me montrer aussi ironique ? Où ai-je trouvé le courage et l'inspiration pour pondre de pareilles horreurs ?

La réponse est très simple : TeamSPank !
D'ailleurs, pour bien comprendre le but et l'origine de ce groupe, force est de remonter à la signification même du nom de cette équipe. "Spank" signifie "donner une fessée"... Honnêtement, pour un site de fans, c'est un peu bizarre de prendre un nom aussi insolent. Sans compter qu'ils l'ont volé sans scrupule au frangin de Katee, Erick.
Alors, quel est exactement l'objectif de ce site ? Donner une fessée à Katee ?

Virtuellement, sans aucun doute, car quand on lit les messages des membres de l'équipe postés sur le forum ou sur le blog, on réalise deux choses : la première, c'est qu'ils ont un âge mental moyen de 7 ans (et encore, je suis généreuse), et la deuxième, c'est qu'ils n'ont absolument pas peur des conséquences des mots qu'ils écrivent. En un sens, tant mieux : on s'amuse beaucoup, et on ne se prend pas du tout au sérieux. Mais vraiment, est-ce bien raisonnable, alors que nous savons pertinemment que Katee sait lire - même si elle ne se balade pas en permanence sur les sites qui lui sont consacrés -, et que sa môman a déjà posté sur le forum de scifi.com (ce qui veut dire qu'elle aussi sait lire, wow).

Tout cela pour dire que si Katee prête trop attention à ce qui est posté sur ce blog et le forum qui lui est attaché, elle va finir par se demander ce qu'elle a fait pour mériter tant de fessées - parce que croyez-moi, elle s'en prend plein la figure, si l'on regarde de près. Et je ne mentionnerai même pas les différents messages descendant en flèche le malheureux film "The Last Sentinel" - dont j'avais d'ailleurs écrit une critique inoubliable sur feu mon blog.

Et là est certainement mon erreur : passer trop de temps à lire les messages - hilarants, j'en conviens - émanant directement de l'esprit tordus des SPanks - dont je fais partie bien sûr. De fait, leur ton s'est immiscé dans ma petite tête et ressort à présent en direct par mes doigts - toujours aux dépens de notre pauvre Katee.

Pour finir, une question s'impose : le dicton très célèbre "qui aime bien châtie bien" peut-il s'appliquer ici ? Allez, disons que oui... parce que de toute façon, on s'amuse tellement que ce serait dommage d'arrêter :p Noooon, pas tirer, Katee !

IN ENGLISH, FOR MY UNEDUCATED READERS ^_^

The influence of TeamSPank on Katee's fans...

As Maxi invited me several times to post something in French on the Spank Blog (cause yes, Maxi, you did ;-)), it's high time I wrote an article... After all, this is an international site, that is supposed to gather all Katee fans, so it's only normal the webmiss of the only French resource (Dossier Katee Sackhoff) should put in her two cents. Actually, it's right after I posted an update on my site that I felt the need to deal with a highly topical question : what influence does TeamSPank have on Katee fans - you and me ?

I used to be an innocent lamb and in such an awe of our TeamLeader - aka Katee Sackhoff -, but I've noticed that the articles on my site tend to take on a more and more sarcastic tone towards Ms Sackhoff. Judge for yourself :

It's official, we can now assert without a doubt that Katee can type on a computer ! Even better, she knows how to update her status on Facebook...

Since when do I take the liberty of assuming Katee can't use a computer ? Who made me feel exhilarated enough to become so ironic ? Where did I find the courage and the inspiration to write such horrifying stuff ?

The answer is quite simple : TeamSPank !

*In this paragraph, I explain what SPank means in French so I won't translate that part... it would seem ridiculous* But seriously, it's kinda weird for a fansite to choose such an insolent name. Not to mention they stole it with no qualms from Katee's brother, Erick.

So what is exactly this site's objective ? Spanking Katee ? Virtually of course, because when you read the messages the SPankers write both on the forum and on the blog, you realize two things : first, they have the mental age of a 7 year old (and I'm generous), and secondly, they are not at all concerned with the consequences their words might have. It's a good thing, in a way : we have a lot of fun and really don't take ourselves seriously. But honestly, is it reasonable, although we do know Katee can read - even if she doesn't visit the sites dedicated to her everyday -, and her mom has alledgedly posted a few messages on the scifi.com boards (which means she can read too, wow).

*This paragraph is intended for a French audience that doesn't understand what's written by TeamSPank, so it's kind of useless in English* : Anyway, if Katee does indeed read what's posted on this blog and the forum, she might ask herself what she did to deserve so much spanking - because, believe me, she takes a lot of slaps in the face, if you look closely. And I won't even mention all the messages regarding the poor "Last Sentinel" movie - that I had written a unforgettable critic about on my blog.

And that's probably my mistake : spending too much time reading the - hilarious, I agree - messages coming straight from the SPanks' twisted minds - I'm one of them, of course. Therefore, the tone they use made its way into my little head and now comes out through my fingers - still at the expense of poor Katee.

So a question remains : does the famous proverb "Qui bene amat bene castigat" (latin for : Who loves well castigates well) apply here ? Okay, let's say it does... because anyway, we have so much fun that it would be a shame to stop now :p nooo, don't shoot me, Katee !

TeamSPank Pimpage Pics

POSTED BY:  AdminiSpanker 

As endorsed by The Sackhoff. Well, she signed them anyway. DJ did most of them. She's the only one around here who has any actual skill, (despite her obvious failings as a human*).

http://www.teamspank.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=389&Itemid=175

Whoever gets to the bottom of the "SP Quirk" issue wins a prize. sarahspank will give you one of her prized official Buffy fan club stickers or something like that (she just doesn't know it yet).

* I think I should be safe to say that as like most of the SPankers, DJ never, ever reads anything anyone else around here writes. In the words of TronSpank, we're the biggest bunch of "grandiose narrassists" he's ever seen. In fact, I'm think of starting one thread for each Spanker at the Treehouse, so we can all go there to write more focused, on-topic shit about ourselves. Actually I don't know whyI'm even typing this. It's not like any of you other SPankers are ever going to notice. Oh well.

Happy Birthday Katee (2009)

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank 

 

Dear Katee, many happy returns from your many Spanker fans!

This is a bit of a rehash from last year's Spanker birthday wish, because you probably didn't see it last year and we are far too lazy to whip up something fresh. Also, we don't want to overdo the 'Happy Birthday' thing because you probably get more birthday wishes in one afternoon than the rest of us get combined in an entire lifetime, and that's just plain bad for your ego.

By the way, some of your Spanker fanboys and girls have left some pretty damn fine birthday suggestions in the comments, so be sure to click on the comments link and check them out.

About this time last year, we recommended that you buy yourself a nice new Harley for your birthday. A year on we hear that you seem to have heeded our advice, so maybe you did read this thing last year after all.

Anyway, this is what recommended for you 12 months ago:

This a Harley Touring Ultra Classic Electra. We have no idea what "Ultra Classic Electra" means, but we do know this:

• It was the most expensive one so it must be the best, and only the best will do.
• It looks pretty badass.
• It is essential that you have a bigger bike than Tricia Helfer.
• It has a nice little storage compartment at the back where you can store all your makeup and CFM boots.
• It'll look great with a full helmet. (Kiddin').

By the way, The TeamSpankers are most keen for you to provide a photo of your new bike, once it's been painted yellow with daises and you have bedazzled the leather. That sounds like it's going to be pretty damn sensational. (As you probably know all to well, we Spankers have no lives of our own and must content ourselves with living vicariously through you).

All the best,

TeamSpank!!!

PS DJ apologises for her playlist review. She is quite distraught. She thought it was funny. Admittedly so did I. It is funny! That bit about how the Foo Fighters should not even exist is pure gold. But DJ is sorry anyway and retracts the entire thing. (No she doesn't, I made that last bit up).

Starbuck is a Bad Influence on TeamSPank

POSTED BY:  AUspank 

A little over a year ago, forces were coming together to form something unlike the world had ever known. Planets were aligning, stars were shining and TeamSpank was being formed. In case you've been living on the nuclear wasteland of Caprica and don't know what TeamSpank is, we are a legion of slightly neurotic, but perfectly harmless (usually), fans of Katee Sackhoff. Although, if you are here reading this then you probably already know that.

One year ago this month (March 27th to be exact), TeamSpank became an entity of it's own and moved into their new home, TeamSpank HQ and The TeamSpank Treehouse. It's been a wild and crazy year. We've had good times and bad times and just plain out of control times. Through it all, TeamSpank perservered.

Katee has done some pretty amazing things over the past year too. BSG has ended and she's moving on to bigger and better things. We are all so excited about seeing her in new roles. It always comes back to Starbuck though. That's where it started. That's where we fell in love. TeamSpank would probably not exist without Kara "Starbuck" Thrace.

A few weeks ago, I got the inspiration to make a video in honor of this special time in Spank history. I first thought about making a "Katee" video, highlighting some of her greatest acting moments and how they influenced us. I probably would have lost my mind trying to find video clips from The Last Sentinal and Halloween Resurrection though, so I finally chose to focus on BSG. Even though some of us "met" Katee through different venues, I think we all fell in love with her because of Starbuck. So that's what this video is all about...how we fell in love with Starbuck (and subsequently Katee). Because, let's face it. If we had first seen Katee in TLS and never watched BSG would any of us be here now? I don't think so.

Thanks to all of the Spanks that posted your favorite Starbuck moments. I didn't want the video to be all of my favorite moments, so I asked you guys to step up and you did. There were some scenes that I probably would have never thought of or chosen if it had been left up to me. This truly is a team effort. I tried to include everybody's favorites, but there were a few that I just couldn't make work. I hated that, but the song was only so long.

Also, let me apologize if your name did not make the video. I had a limited number of "you's" to fill and more Spanks than I knew what to do with. I felt bad having to leave anybody out, but it couldn't be helped. So I devised a little formula to use and came up with the exact number I needed. Basically, if your name didn't make the video, you haven't been here in several months or you've made very few posts. Bottom line...YOU SHOULD SPANK MORE AND OFTEN!!

That's enough rambling. Here's the video. I hope you like it!!

Sorry Excuse for a SpankBlog

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank 

Disclaimer: This blog is not my finest hour. It really has nothing going for it whatsoever. Not that any of my previous efforts have been much chop, but this one is really weak sauce.

Well then, there is no earth-shattering news to divulge, so I thought I'd make a weirdie-emo jigsaw puzzle instead (see below). My apologies. What can I say? I had a massive brain explosion when I added the jigsaws to the site. You've gotta admit though, they are pretty damn relaxing to do.

Oh Oh Oh!!! I remembered something worth passing on - everyone in the planet is being cojoled invited to participate in DJ's phenomenal poll: TeamSpank Awards: The Sackhoff. If every living soul in the Northern Hemisphere (and most countries in the Southern Hemisphere) does not participate in that (admittedly sensational) poll, I think DJ is going to top herself. So have a heart - do it for her. Take one for the team. (I think DJ is even trying to solicit a vote from my dog). Speaking of polls, there is also a new SpankPoll on the main site. This one is entitled "The best thing about The Last Sentinel was...." It's a far less accomplished effort than DJ's poll, but still possibly cathartic for anyone who seen that sublime cinematic achievement.


This is a terrific new interview with Katee (from early Feb 2009). Good to know that she is in good health and still multi-tasking during her interviews. That girl hasn't changed a bit.

There are a couple of skerricks of news I guess. The Sackhoff appeared in Nip/Tuck and BSG this week, so that was good times for the Spankers. Apparenlty her tragically brief Law & Order appearance was also re-aired in the States. (Pfff wasn't that a fizzer? I thought she was gonna be in the whole fucking thing)! Anyway, some saint has uploaded Katee's Nip/Tuck scenes to YouTube. Woohoo!

Lookin' a million bucks there. I'm kinda glad she's only doing a few epis of 'Nip' though. As shows go, it seems pretty bloody ridiculous. Still that doesn't make much difference to the Spankers, who, as we all know, will watch Katee Sackhoff in anything. (The person who uploaded that vid should be knighted or something).
So yo, if by some weird fluke one of The Sackhoff's pubicists stumbles across this can you please leak some little tidbits of info about if the new show is gonna be picked up, cause I for one can't hack the bloody suspense. I'm far more concerned about that than if I'm gonna have to hock my car to pay my next tax bill. I think I'd rather be forced into riding a skateboard around than to hear that Lost & Found got the flick.

So here's the jigsaw puzzle. I recommend the 240 classic cut, for the full cathartic experience. Happy times. Or not.



... oh forgive me. I forgot where I was for a minute there. Not because of the jigsaw (although that is pretty distracting), but because a person that I know in real life was doing a very saucy sex scene on a TV show. That's far more information than you ever want to know about someone you go to the pub with. So anyway, apologies again for my crappy thread-bare blog. I really need more hard facts to work my brand of bullshit with. Join us Spankers over at The Treehouse if you've got nothing better to do. (Actually, it would be a pretty pathetic state of affairs if you didn't have something better to do with your life than hang at the Treehouse).

Well I'm done for now thankfully. Spank hard, Spank often.

Maxi

Not Another SpankBlog

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank 

 

So then, I believe it's just about time for a New Year's SpankBlog. Seasons greetings, all ye Spankers. Forgive the lateness but a) I've been busy b) I've been uninspired c) there hasn't been much news to speak of and d) I'm a fickle slackarse (we spell 'arse' differently in my neck of the woods). Anyway, I think it's about time we had a chat about the new show (and maybe manicures) so here we go…

Sackhoff Do A Duchovny?
In case you haven't heard, Katee S is working on a new show for NBC. Spankers are delighted for Katee, regardless of whether the show turns out to be high art or a complete dog. This is because Katee is THE STAR and it's on a big network, which can only mean one thing - shitloads of $$$. Woohoo! She's gonna be able to afford a new Harley D to match every designer biker outfit that she buys on her shopping jaunts with Tricia.

This new show is still in the pilot stage and could get boned, as we like to call it in Australia, (thrown on the scrap heap). I guess we will hear in a couple of months if it's a goer. The pilot is being filmed right now. It's a Dick Wolf thing called "Lost & Found" but it's thankfully not like Law & Order. It's supposed to be more of a black comedy, which sounds cool to me because I thought that Katee was funny as all fuck in Bionic Woman. ("jogging partner").

It's being filmed around LA, and this led me to start thinking that good ol' Katee may have successfully pulled off a Duchovny. For those not in the know, "Doing a Duchovny" refers to the infamous X-Files upheaval of a few years back, where the star, David Duchovny, somehow managed to have the entire production pulled from Canada to LA, just so he could shag Tea Leoni on a more frequent basis (because, as we know, David D is a self-confessed sex addict and needs are needs).

But I digress. A few months back, (circa the BSG "pink strapless dress event"), Katee mentioned in an interview that she had been offered to star in her own show in New York, but that she knocked it back as she didn't want to live apart from her BF anymore. Now, I have no idea if she was talking about "Lost & Found", but as a proud, card-carrying TeamSpanker I prefer to believe that the producers of the new show decided that they couldn't possibly do the thing without Katee - she was the only one for them - and that they decided to move the entire bloody thing to LA so that Katee could walk around the corner to work every morning and not have to lift a finger.
On hearing of the new show, the TeamSpank hierarchy held a crisis meeting and decided that we needed to add an addendum to our constitution. Here it is...

TeamSpank strictly prohibits the inclusion of any clarinet in the theme music to Lost & Found, whether it be used in a short but nauseating solo or just as an ensemble instrument. Clarinets are OUT!

Go here to read the entire Constitution and Amendments of TeamSpank.

DJ and Fats worked tirelessly on this sucker. Pity they didn't bother to proof read it.

You will find their comprehensive, probing "History of TeamSpank" in the same place. Compulsory reading for all who take their Spanking seriously.

So here is what could well be the first on set photo from "Lost & Found" to make it's way to the internets. It's from Venice Beach.

I stumbled on the pic here. Not the best pic of all time, but none-the-less historic.
(The dude with KS, Brian Cox, is a sensational actor).

Manicures
Moving on to BSG. Sometimes A Great Notion, which aired a few days back, was a bit of a wrist slasher, was it not? If BSG gets really low ratings in the next epi, its because half of the regular BSG viewership have just topped themselves. I'm not gonna put anyone to sleep with my last cylon theories or my existential analyses, ( because everyone probably fell asleep the minute they read "here's my new blog"). What am I am going to do is point out that Starbuck's nails looked amazing. Where is that girl (or whatever she is) getting her manicures? I want a referral. I would have thought, what with all of the death and doom and destruction and whatnot, that Starbuck might be a tad stressed out right about now, but the girl is obviously not a biter.

Oh and on a brighter note, was I the only Spanker who noticed the following?

Granted, most Spankers where probably far too shocked and distraught at that particular reveal to pay too much attention to the colour and length of Dead Starbuck' hair. But then I don't get out much.

OK then, that's more than enough for me (probably for the next few months). Come over to the Treehouse and meet up with other Spankers if you haven't already. If not, have a nice life. Oh, and don't forget to read the next instalment in Swimmer's MEZ series below - the comprehensive and yet mildly disturbing Magical Expression Zone Part 2.

Maxi

Olympic Spanking

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank 

Hi there folks. It's been a while but here's an update anyway. Good times...

Katee ditches Con to go fish gutting in Fiji

(No she didn’t! It just seemed like a silly headline – please don’t quote it as fact).

Katee has, however, become the latest in a series of BSG actors to cancel their appearance at the forthcoming Dragon Con. While the Spankers feel terrible for our Bunny buddies and other cyberpals that will no longer be able to hang with Bamber & Katee this time around, some of us are also quietly delirious with joy at the prospect that Katee may have signed on for some new project that is yet to be announced. While it’s obviously a big bummer if you were looking forward to actually going to the thing, it’s pretty understandable that the actors would be busy looking for new gigs, given that they finished filming BSG over a month ago – it’s time for them to move on. After being tied to a contract for 5 or 6 years, they're probably all like kids in a candy store, now that they can actually try some other stuff. Acting is their chosen profession after all, as opposed to “professional Con attendee”, so it makes a lot of sense that they'd have to prioritize their acting. Not too many Spankers were actually headed to the Con, so we haven’t heard of any random acts of Spanker self-mutilation as yet.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for some of the Bunnies. Bunnies, just so you know, a bottle of JB and a tourniquet always comes in handy at times like this. You’ll get over it. We’re here if you need us. Hold fast.

I guess it’d be a little unreasonable to expect an actor to give up a new job that might put their kids through university just to go to a con for a couple of hours, to provide us with some witty (and yet vaguely repetitious) anecdotes about their fellow actors’ bad habits. As much as the Spankers delight in Katee’s random, funny con behaviour, such as the Zoolander impression and the stray-hair-microphone-plucking, we’d kind of prefer to hear that she’s gonna keep acting in new stuff that we can then watch and crap on about endlessly cause we don’t have a life of our own.

If she isn’t actually gonna be doing an acting gig during the Con week, then what else could Katee possibly be up to? Spanker DJ has a theory that Katee may have decided to take a holiday to Fiji with her BF instead. Katee, if DJs theory is correct, can I just say, (speaking from personal experience), that you are gonna love it! You can rent the island where Blue Lagoon was filmed, and you can even make out under the same tree as Brooke Shields! Woohoo! Can I also recommend the snorkelling – it’s easily the best in the world - crystal clear water and lots of colourful fishies. But Katee, you mustn’t get any ideas. We know how much you love your fish gutting, but dude, there are many protected species in Fiji. Gut the wrong fish and you could end up languishing for years in a Fijian penal institution. What on Earth would the Spankers do for entertainment while awaiting your release? Katee, you must study your species thoroughly before you start wielding that knife of yours around willy nilly.

My personal theory on Katee’s whereabouts during Dragon Con hits closer to home. I believe that she has been recently watching the Olympics and that she’s basically decided to give acting the flick and take up her original career choice again. After all, her dodgy knees must have recovered by now. She must have noticed that while the US male swimmers pretty much have the game sewn up, the woman’s team is languishing. I believe that Katee feels that she has to single handedly redress this imbalance in time for the London Olympics. So there will be no more acting, bike gangs with Tricia and Trucco, or fan conventions – it’s all about the training for the next 4 years. Either that, or she just wants to get back into one of those figure hugging rubber suits, cause as she said herself , “I think I like confining wardrobe”.

 

Project Abraham

Many Spankers have become aware that Katee is involved in a new viral internet campaign for the soon-to-be released Resistance 2 video game. You can see lots of her little promo vids for it here – she’s playing a physiologist named Dr Cassie Aklin, who has to pick candidates for some weirdie experiment.

Some Spankers have been a little concerned that Katee’s involvement in this project would mean that they would not only have to buy the game, but also the entire bloody console. However, a little research on the game’s official site indicates that the main character in the actual game is some dude who Katee picks, and not her character. All I can say is ‘phew’. Cause I’d frankly be a little embarrassed if it was ever discovered that I bought a Playstation 3 and only owned one game.

Like many Spankers, I was kinda wondering why Katee would want to be involved in an advertising campaign. But when you think about it, the first Resistance game was apparently the biggest selling Playstation game ever, so it’s a pretty big thing to be attached to. There are probably more people who own that game than have ever seen BSG. Well that’s my theory, although it was probably more a case of Katee’s bro thinking it sounded cool and talking her into it. Something like that. She does owe him big time, after all, for turning his nickname into some sort of ridiculous cyber-cult. In any case, I’m personally far more pumped that Katee apparently did the commentary for the upcoming Robot Chicken DVD. I’m gonna buy that one with pride.

Other Stuff

Ok well that’s just about enough from me for now. There’s other stuff to report but since I’ve now been rambling uncontrollably for about the last 20 minutes, I should probably just stop.

As far as the TeamSpank HQ site goes, we haven’t added much lately but there is new stuff underway. We are about to add our fictional Spanker bios, which should be ridiculous. Anyone is welcome to add to the site if they are that way inclined – just send an email about it. We tend to encourage stuff that isn’t really your typical fan site type stuff – stuff with a bit of quirk or a bit of a slant. It doesn't have to have any factual basis - we don't worry about that sort of thing at TeamSpank. Artistic stuff is cool too. It doesn’t have to be funny but that helps. Oh BTW, if you are signed in as a member of the main site, there are now a couple of extra little treats to be found via the TeamSpank menu. It's our little secret (or at least it was until one sentence ago).

Just in case you don’t know, we have our own Katee forum at the TeamSpank Treehouse, where Katee fans hang out almost 24/7, although mainly just making idle, inane chat. There are many specialized topic threads, or you can just hang out and gossip with folks in the main Katee thread. (Can I just apologize in advance for the appalling language. I’m one of the worst culprits, I'm afraid).

Oh one final thing, that I'd like to address directly to Katee...

Katee, we realize that now that you have finished with BSG, you probably think you are free of your weirdie, obsessive, creeper SciFi 'fans' for all time. That may well be the case, but Katee, I really hate to burst your bubble. Cause I'm afraid to let the cat out of the bag, but dude just so you know, Spankers aren't actually SciFi fans and you can't get rid of us that easily. We're in it for the long haul. While we enjoy a bit of SciFi here and there, most of us frankly couldn't care less if we never see another spaceship, but we really wanna see what other projects you have up your sleeve.

So sorry dude - SciFi fans may come and go, but Spanking is forever!

So Much News, So Little Time

POSTED BY: MaxiSpank

Hi there. It's probably high time for a blog/update thingy, so here it is. Lots has been happening so I recommend light refreshments while reading. See you at the end.
Two Fat Ladies
This is an official, desperate plea on behalf of all Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer fans that they do a US version of the 90's British hit TV show "Two Fat Ladies", which featured a couple of 60 something ladies hooning around the countryside on their motorbike, meeting with the locals in quaint little villages and cooking up a treat, before climbing back on their bike and disappearing into the sunset. Granted, Katee and Tricia aren't fat and they are 30 years too young, but that's a minor technicality. A show like that featuring Katee and Tricia would have to just about rate as the best show ever, in the history of all mankind.

Apart from the weight and age obstacle, the girls have all of the technical requirements down pat. They are bad-ass biker chicks and Katee has often boasted about her culinary skills in interviews, although TeamSpank would frankly like to see cold hard evidence of her prowess in this department. Word on the street is that Tricia is a vegetarian, so that could give the show an interesting extra edge - like it would need any edge at all other than the two of them hooning around on their motorcycles.

The reason TeamSpank have decided this is
a great idea the greatest idea ever had by anyone, is that we've been recently inundated by photos from Tricia's official blog and a video from the LA Times, (watch it below). It's just all too monumentally awesome and TeamSpank wants more. (BTW Katee, why don't you have an official blog or site, you bloody slack arse?)

Footnote: If by any chance, this brilliant idea comes to fruition, TeamSpank has decided to forgo any series concept/finder's fee (or whatever it's called). Instead, all we ask is that Katee please do a scene at the ocean-side, where she slowly and methodically guts a fish while smiling sweetly into the camera and explaining her technique in earnest detail. TeamSpank would also like to stipulate that Katee include the phrase "I love to gut my own fish", in her fish disembowelment demonstration, much as she did here.

---

Katee Jigsaws at TeamSpank HQ
TeamSpank continue to path the way forward as far as cyber-fandom goes. Our latest innovation is the Katee Sackhoff Jigsaw Puzzle series. This isn't lightweight fluff - this is hi-tech and cutting edge (no pun intended). You can choose different shaped pieces and you can choose puzzles from 6 to about 250 pieces. You can even get the thing to put itself back-together if you can't be bothered. Reassembling Katee Sackhoff can prove a sensational, most therapeutic way to fritter away an hour or so, particularly if you are feeling a little brain dead at the time.

We have also begun a new section of the site, entitled "Katee Snippets", where you can listen to some of Katee's little audio nuggets from interviews - stuff like where she discusses studying her o-face, her juggling technique, etc. This section is brand new and there are only a few things there, but lots more is on the way. Please let us know if you can think of anything that belongs here.

---

Katee knocks back her own series (and a movie is in the works)
In this article published last week, Katee mentions that she just knocked back her own series, as it was being filmed in NY and she didn't want to live away from her BF anymore. While TeamSpank acknowledges that this is none of our business, and that we are a little bummed that we won't get to see her in her own series, we find it kind of sweet and sensible that she is putting her personal happiness first before a dumb old TV show.

Katee also mentions in this article that she will be shooting a film called "The Victim" later in the year. This TeamSpanker is curious about whether this film will be an English Language remake of the Thai 2006 film, Phii khon pen, which is a bit of a psycho-multi-twist thriller. So Katee's agent, could you please get back to us to confirm that one?

Katee mentioned another movie in a previous interview "Kneel" or "Neal" or something like that, but we haven't heard a word about that since. Granted though, Katee did seem a little tipsy in that interview (which was fair enough cause it was at a party) so she might have been delirious.

---

Bionic Sized Gloat by SwimSpank
In case you haven't seen it yet, SwimSpank has recently researched and published perhaps the biggest documented gloatfest of all time - "The REAL Bionic woman", a (massive) collection of official critical reviews of Bionic Woman, where Katee frankly comes out looking like the sun shines out of her arse. (I was gonna use a different expression but it would have been even more crude). We've provided a downloadable pdf version, just for for Katee's mum (MaSpank), just so she can show it off to friends and gloat at dinner parties. Cause gloating is fun, and you probably can never be too proud of your own kids.

There is plenty of other Katee S news and BSG news floating around, but I am frankly emotionally exhausted by all of the above, so I'll just leave you with this:

 

 

Two Fat Ladies Tricia And Katee Go Hooning

The Book Club - BSG Rewatch
Doh! How could I forget? Spanker Starby will be hosting an epic BSG Rewatch, here at the Treehouse, to keep us from twidding our thumbs until BSG finally hits the airwaves again, in 2014 or so. Come and join us - all are welcome.

Spanks Go Con: Autograph

POSTED BY:  starbucklovespank

Will be more to come! Sneak Peak...

Katee & Spanker News Updates

POSTED BY: MaxiSpank

Howdy, here is some Katee news & site updates and other useless information...
Fats and DJ have posted the results of the TeamSpank Starbuck Awards. This is essential reading and you must not venture away from this site until you have read every syllable.

This week, we also have the startlingly tragic news that Katee has apparently blown out her Kimmel appearance for Friday night. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Katee, just so you know, you have broken one of your Spankers' hearts. StarbuckLoveSpank was all set to attend - had her tickets in her greasy, sweaty, grubby little hands - until you had to go and rain on her parade. Don't feel too guilty though Katee - she might pull through. She might get over it eventually, with a lot of love and care (and outrageously expensive councelling).

In an effort to buck Starby up, Katee, some of us suggested that she fly cross country to attend your (somewhat bizarre sounding) Wizard do next weekend. Much to our horror, she decided that was a great idea and now she's gone and bought her plane ticket. She is quite hard up for cash, and she apparently had to break into the piggybank she's had since she was 3. Katee, just so you know, if you blow out that appearance as well, you are going to have BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS. Starby will be inconsolable and you are going to leave one hell of a mess to clean up. Not that we want you to feel responsible or anything (for Starby's probable forthcoming suicide attempt). No pressure, Katee. BTW, the Wizard World advertising team would probably start practicing self-mutilation if you don't show up, also, as they seem to have based their entire advertising campaign around you. No pressure.

If by some miracle Katee doesn't cancel, then Starby and SwimSpank may actually get to meet Katee. If that's the case, they have promised to pass on my apology for the page on the site where I comment about Katee that "she apparently left her brain at the door that day" (in regards to her internationally televised LittleSpank nickname announcement). There will be no apology for the massive Last Sentinel roasting that Katee cops on this site - she deserves every word of it.

I've also asked Starby to print out my "Sentinel Shame" article and to ask Katee to sign it. That would make my (pathetic, little) world just about complete. I wonder if she'd sign it near the 'side-boob' section. That'd be kinda funny. Or the bit where I suggest that my pooch shags the sofa more enthusiastically than Katee's leading man shagged her in their 'love scene'.

In other 'hard' Katee news, she will be doing 4 epis of the show Nip/Tuck. This sounds like fun, although some of us are frankly relieved it's only 4 epis. Fats is particularly delighted, as by all accounts, Nip/Tuck is quite a racy show, so all things being equal, this should mean that Katee will have to get her gear off and maybe even flash some collarbone. Woohoo!

So Katee, when are you gonna announce a show or movie or something that will give the Spankers cause for celebration? We need some good shit to watch, although we'll still watch the bad shit, if you're in it, cause we have no self-control.

One last thing - there seem to be two fairly regular daily SpankFests these days at the Treehouse. They seem to occur early in the morning US time - like about 10am and around 11pm - midnight. Don't ask me about time zones, but if ya want to work it out, for me, in Sydney, they happen at 3am and about 3pm EST. There are always a whole bunch of Spankers randomly gossiping away, so come and join the fun. The main Katee thread is pretty much random chat interspersed with katee & BSG talk, where the other threads stay pretty strickly on-topic.

Upcoming Katee Interview & Other Crap

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank

 

SwimSpank has just snerched some interesting news for us - Katee will be appearing on the Jimmy Kimmel show on Friday, May 23. You can get tickets if you'll be around LA then. (Bad luck if you live in Sydney).

A few months ago, Katee appeared on this show and revealed to the world that her nickname was "LittleSpank". Thus, TeamSpank was born. I wonder what pearls of wisdom she'll come out with this time. And I wonder if that Kimmel dude will perve at Katee's tits the whole time, this time around as well. Here's a little refresher...

Flash Player upgrade required

In other news, there's been a new addition to the Collarbone family. This one is entitled "Mutiny on 'The Ship of Sweaty Arms'". Outstanding.

For the the Treehouse Dwellers, DJ and I have been going nuts adding skins and banners, basically because we are both procratinating about doing things we actually get paid for in the real world. DJ has come up with some great banners for a few of the skins and if you ask nicely , she might add some to the ones that haven't been done yet. The imac skin is a winner. Good times. (You change them in the forum on the bottom left of your screen - there's a little select box).

If you haven't signed up to the TeamSpank Treehouse, it's about time you did. It's the place to be if you are a Katee S fan - there are people there 24/7 gossiping away about Katee and life in general. It's pretty pathetic really. No wonder Katee Sackhoff thinks her fans are a pack of freaks. I often think this to myself and when I get disheartened, I try to remind myself that this is a woman who "loves to gut fish" - then I don't feel quite so creepy. Katee seriously should be in therapy for that sicko little fetish of hers. Fish? Guts? It makes Fats' collarbone thing seem pretty fuckin' pedestrian.

BTW, if you do happen to have some bizarre, sicko Katee Sackhoff fetish, then the Treehouse is definitely the place for you. Someone came in yesterday - a straight married woman with 2 kids - and announced to the rest of us that she had a serious Katee foot fetish. (Strictly barefeet though). She backed this barefoot fetish up with hard photographic evidence. This seemed very run-of-the-mill to the rest of us, who hear riveting stories - on a daily basis - about Katee's 'intense jawline' and perfectly formed collarbone. Not to mention the 'Incredible Inflatable Cleavage' and the 'Magical Expression Zone' between Katee's eyes. Poor Katee Sackhoff, having to deal with sicko freaks like us. Don't judge us harshly Katee - remember you "love to gut fish" and you are a Natalie Portman fan-girl, so you must get it a bit.

Finally, in news of interest to no-one except perhaps my mother, I would like to report that I just removed a blackened and smoky quiche from the oven, that I completely forgot was in it. Doh! My mother is currently spitting blood in my direction, as she wanted to take it to her friend's place for lunch tomorrow. If Teamspank HQ or the Treehouse suddenly ceases to exist, this would be because my mother has murdered me in a fit of burned quiche rage, and I am dead.

Chops

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank

 

Some may say that TeamSpankers are biased about Katee Sackhoff's acting ability because we are her fans and our judgement is clouded. To that I would respond that we choose to be her fans BECAUSE of her amazing acting gift and that we wouldn't be anywhere near as interested in her if she didn't blow us away with her acting. So (in the words of Katee herself) - put that in your pipe and smoke it!

The following are some TeamSpanker reflections on Katee's performances in the new BSG seasion. (Katee must not be allowed to read any of this - we wouldn't want her head to swell).

Here's a little effort by FatApolloLoveSpank, from our little watering hole, The Treehouse. I believe this was written immediately after Fats watched "Six of One" and her enthusiasm is pretty damn infectious ...

"what got me was right after adama choked her out and she was like, half-laughing half-crying...right before she did the screaming thing. oh my god. i flipped. and then at the end when adama was watching her and she was just lying there kinda sobbing "go back..." really quietly. like she was in pain. oh man. katee rocks my world. seriously. her acting chops are like.....WURD.
and, i'm sorry, that scene with her and roslin at the beginning. one of the best scenes in the show i've ever seen. it was so fucked up and katee did SUCH a good job. really. i loved it. like, that scenario could not have played out any better.
plus, she got MANHANDLED TO THE BRIG! WURD!!!!!...
...i want to marry katee sackhoff and her acting chops. fureal".

And here's a post "Six of One" reflection from SwimSpank:

i need an entire post just to say

katee sackhoff is the most brillant actor

ive ever seen

and this episode is proof

I would also like to add my own little nugget. I listened to part of the Bionic Woman commentary the other day, and David Eick (exec producer of BSG and Bionic) had this to say:

"Katee is probably pound for pound the best pure actor on Battlestar Galactica".

At TeamSpank HQ there's a lot of Katee Sackhoff piss taking going on (only cause she's so fun and also cause she's been in some really shite films that make 'taking the piss' very easy), but let's face it - no-one can deny her incredible acting gift. Phenomenal.

For more measured reflections on the new season of Battlestar, head to The Treehouse. Oh, and don'f forget, Fats' new 'Collarbone' review will be up shortly. Not that I was really paying attention in "Six of One", (cause I was swept away by the plot and Katee's amazing acting chops), but my gut tells me it's going to be dark times for Katee's collarbone this week. No shagging, no sportsbra, no pushups - ergo, no collarbone. Where are they hiding that sucker?

Car Keys and More Vid Interviews

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank

Yo guys - has anyone seen my car keys?

OMG I'm going to be so late! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, the third part of the EW interview, (the one with the Come FrakMeBoots, extensions, oil & cleavage) , is now online.

You can see the whole interview at the Katee Vid Interviews page on this site.
Katee Sackhoff on corsets: "I think I like confining wardrobe".
Such a funny munchkin.

Oh one more thing - we've had to activate the word censors at the TeamSpank Forum because the language has been getting a little out of hand. I think you'll find that the censored words aren't quite the ones you'd expect though. (Let's just say that the 'original' Starbuck actor doesn't get off lightly).

TeamSpank HQ - cyberhome to
the loyal, the devoted and the immature.