Off-Topic But Yeah, Whatever

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank

I'd just like to take this opportunity, (in this highly, ridiculously inappropriate location), to express my utter dismay and devastation. I am completely crushed. Just moments ago I went to make my first hot chocolate of the year, only to discover that THERE ARE NO MARSHMELLOWS IN THE CUPBOARD!

OMG I want to die. Does anyone have a gun? (They are illegal in Australia but I'm sure that some of you US folks might be able to help out). I could always try auto-erotic asphyxiation I suppose. That could be a fun way to alleviate my sorrow (although it wasn't much fun trying to spell it correctly).

Forgive me for sharing my sadness with you all, but I just felt compelled to express my disappointment on a worldwide stage, such is its profound intensity. No marshmellows. I just cannot believe it. I truly want to die. I think I'd rather watch Maelstrom again and see Starbuck blow up into a zillion tiny pieces than drink a hot chocolate with NO MARSHMELLOWS. Woe is me.

I supppose I should get this pathetic ramble back on track by way of mentioning that there were happy times this week on BSG. Of course Cally croaked it, which is something that most BSG fans have been hoping for since Season 1 when she turned from a loveable rogue into an insufferable whinger in the space of one smack to the jawline. But the truly wonderous news is that there was TOTAL COLLABONE EXPOSURE. FatApolloLoveSpank has apparently been in a mad frenzy ever since and I believe she has already penned the 3rd installment to the BSG Season 4 Collarbone Companion Series, so look out for that in a couple of days. She's already done wonders this season with not a lot of source material to draw from, so one can only imagine what Fats is going to pull out of the hat since she's no longer dealing with Total Collarbone Block.

On a side note, speaking about 'worldwide stages' just reminded me to pass on that Katee Sackhoff - you are very big in Mauritius. I am able to look at the site stats for who is visiting TeamSpank HQ and yep you are a winner in Mauritius, Katee. Of course Katee is getting by far the most hits from the US, but strangely Mauritius was fourth or fifth on the list. I'll have to post all of that stuff here in a couple of days - it's very interesting. People from over 25 countries frequent the site.

I can also see which Google search terms lead people to TeamSpank HQ and frankly one or two of them made me double over in hysterics. My personal favourite was "Mary McDonnell Nude". (Just so you know, there are NO photographs of a partially clad Mary McDonnell displayed anywhere on this site).

New Stuff

POSTED BY: MaxiSpank

Here are some more updates to the site, shock horror.

• 3ripleSpank (TripleSpank) has just added some< a href="http://www.teamspank.net/teamspank/index.php?view=article&catid=75%3Apicspam&id=291%3Absg-season-4-triplepicspam-ep1&option=com_content&Itemid=9"> BSG Season 4 Starbuck Picspam.
• In case you missed it, Fats (FatApolloLoveSpank) added her 2nd installment of the BSG Season 4 Collarbone companion series a few days ago - "The Struggle For Freedom". There should be another one on the way in a couple of days. Tell ya what, we are going to be in deep shit if there is no apparent collarbone in this episode. Fats is already very fragile as a result of the Malicious Collarbone Obstruction that pervaded the last two Eps, and I think its gonna get pretty damn ugly if there is total Collarbone Block in this one as well.

Note to Katee Sackhoff: could you please, please have a heart and maybe randomly expose your collarbone at least once per episode until the show winds up? Cause honestly if you don't, then we are going to have to section Fats pretty soon. Do you really want that on your conscience? (That's a pretty dumb question hey - I mean this is the chick who cruelly inflicted "The Last Sentinel" on her poor unsuspecting fans. She is obviously some kind of fan sadist).

• DJ (LittleSpank) has added an article entitled "The Secret Language of Awesome" regarding Katee Sackhoff's golden interview technique. DJ is currently preparing an extensive list of Katee's more memorable interview quotes. I believe she has 7 pages worth so far - there is just no end to it.
• I'm actually planning on adding some soundbite/audio samples from interviews - stuff like "can I touch it?" and "I guess you now know my technique" but that would probably mean Katee's publicist would have to hunt me down and eat my first born. That should be ok though - I don't have any kids.
• DJ also has a couple of articles entitled "There goes Kara Thrace - walking through the back of the screen" that look at some of the episodes where Starbuck is grossly underused. (Anything less than 95% of screen time is completely unacceptable of course).

Oh there is some actual news - Katee Sackhoff will be apparently attending the Wizard World Philadelphia con from May 30 - June 1. I bet they're paying her a shitload. Unfortunately this news isn't much good to Spankers, who all still believe that 'con' refers to a criminal activity. Not to worry - Katee 'll probably cancel in any case.
No Spanker has ever actually attended a con, but there's always a first time for everything. Is Philadelphia near New York, because if so, Katee's collarbone might be in serious peril. Fats may well make a run at her and try to lick it. Keep that sucker under lock and key Katee.

Chops

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank

 

Some may say that TeamSpankers are biased about Katee Sackhoff's acting ability because we are her fans and our judgement is clouded. To that I would respond that we choose to be her fans BECAUSE of her amazing acting gift and that we wouldn't be anywhere near as interested in her if she didn't blow us away with her acting. So (in the words of Katee herself) - put that in your pipe and smoke it!

The following are some TeamSpanker reflections on Katee's performances in the new BSG seasion. (Katee must not be allowed to read any of this - we wouldn't want her head to swell).

Here's a little effort by FatApolloLoveSpank, from our little watering hole, The Treehouse. I believe this was written immediately after Fats watched "Six of One" and her enthusiasm is pretty damn infectious ...

"what got me was right after adama choked her out and she was like, half-laughing half-crying...right before she did the screaming thing. oh my god. i flipped. and then at the end when adama was watching her and she was just lying there kinda sobbing "go back..." really quietly. like she was in pain. oh man. katee rocks my world. seriously. her acting chops are like.....WURD.
and, i'm sorry, that scene with her and roslin at the beginning. one of the best scenes in the show i've ever seen. it was so fucked up and katee did SUCH a good job. really. i loved it. like, that scenario could not have played out any better.
plus, she got MANHANDLED TO THE BRIG! WURD!!!!!...
...i want to marry katee sackhoff and her acting chops. fureal".

And here's a post "Six of One" reflection from SwimSpank:

i need an entire post just to say

katee sackhoff is the most brillant actor

ive ever seen

and this episode is proof

I would also like to add my own little nugget. I listened to part of the Bionic Woman commentary the other day, and David Eick (exec producer of BSG and Bionic) had this to say:

"Katee is probably pound for pound the best pure actor on Battlestar Galactica".

At TeamSpank HQ there's a lot of Katee Sackhoff piss taking going on (only cause she's so fun and also cause she's been in some really shite films that make 'taking the piss' very easy), but let's face it - no-one can deny her incredible acting gift. Phenomenal.

For more measured reflections on the new season of Battlestar, head to The Treehouse. Oh, and don'f forget, Fats' new 'Collarbone' review will be up shortly. Not that I was really paying attention in "Six of One", (cause I was swept away by the plot and Katee's amazing acting chops), but my gut tells me it's going to be dark times for Katee's collarbone this week. No shagging, no sportsbra, no pushups - ergo, no collarbone. Where are they hiding that sucker?

Updates

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank

 

So I think we can probably move on from the birthday thing safely now, before that card on the front page drives all to the shrink and the drink.

Here are a few new site addition thingos you really need to know about:

• The Sackhoff Gold page has been updated with a particularly shameful addition.

• In other earth shattering news, FatApolloLoveSpank has announced that she will be writing an episodic, tent-pole series based on her groundbreaking Katee Sackhoff piece, "Collarbone". Fats has informed us that for each new episode of Battlestar Galactica Season 4, she will be writing a companion piece detailing the trials and tribulations of Katee's collarbone in that episode, as it endeavors to overcome that pesky flight suit and the Malicious Collarbone Obstruction that results. Dark times.

Fats' Collarbone reviews can be found in the Katee Reviews section, from the Katee menu. The first one is now posted for your viewing pleasure - that is if you are as depraved and unhinged as the rest of us and get a kick out of that sort of thing. (The Collarbone things are sick but they are bloody funny).

How is it that I am far more curious about what Katee Sackhoff would feel about Fats perving on her collarbone than I am about what happened to Starbuck after she blew into a million bits?

 

Note to Fats: I'm just a little curious about your review/s in the week/s where Katee doesn't appear in the episode at all. What will happen? That's got to be like the ultimate Malicious Collarbone Obstruction, wouldn't you say? Actually I think you need to come up with a new term for that occurrence, 'cause "Malicious" just isn't going to cut the mustard when that happens.

Shame, Shame, Shame

POSTED BY: MaxiSpank

So the momentous interview has come and gone. You can have a listen here.
So what were you dudes thinking? Are you on crack? You can't diss the poor chick with your very first (totally bogus) question. That's just all kinds of wrong. You threw Katee off her game for like the first 20 minutes of the interview. Shame, Shame, Shame.

Katee Sackhoff, just so you know, TeamSpankers have spent an unhealthy amount of time reading up on you in the last couple of weeks just cause we've been putting this TeamSpank site together. None of us have come across one shred of evidence that anyone called you 'pissy'. Cort and Fatboy are just being tools. We even did a google search for the words 'katee sackhoff pissy'. Nada. (There were a couple of references to Sarah Corvus being pissy, but only in the nicest possible way). It was probably just some loser in some obscure nerd forum frequented by 15 year old dorks with bad skin and Cort & Fatboy. They probably were just having a whinge cause they still haven't come to terms with Starbuck being a girl, but then they haven't hit puberty yet so that's understandable. So rest easy. It's a complete load of bollocks.

Dudes, you threw her off her game. Unbelievable. You're lucky she didn't hang up and run away to cry.

We'd also like to give a shout out to Katee's brother who is apparently 'thrilled' by the TeamSpank thing (Katee, were you just being sarcastic?Also, does that mean you're not thrilled? ) Katee's brother, (Eric?) , just so you know - "Spank" is a reserved word in these parts. It is reserved for you.

Oh one more thing - TeamSpankers are still beside themselves that Katee quoted from Anchorman. They are currently in a frenzy about it. Too awesome.
In other news, there have been more additions to the site:

• Katee Exposé - this is a flash gallery in the Pics & Media section. It's just getting started.
• Katee Vids - there are a lot more videos added. Many more interviews, a random vids section, a con vids section and a Thracian vids section (vids edited by a TeamSpanker).
• The Initiation - a new feature in the TeamSpank? section
• More Reviews - yeah, whatever.
• The Treehouse - the TeamSpank forum that is going off. There were over 5000 posts just in the "Katee Appreciation" thread in the first week. Dudes we have to turn off the computer and venture outside occasionally. That's just wrong.
• Sackhoff Gold - in the Pics & Media section. I'm not sure I want to mention this actually, give the current shame of Cort & Fatboy. Tsk, tsk tsk!

 

Momentous News

POSTED BY: MaxiSpank

 

In perhaps the most momentous, happiest news that TeamSpank has heard for the past 6 months, it has been announced that Katee Sackhoff will be appearing in a new radio interview with Cort & Fatboy this Friday, prior to the launch of Battlestar Galactica Season 4.

Happy times for TeamSpankers!!!

We just have a couple of simple requests - could someone please forcibly lock the Battlestar publicist in the boot of her car for the duration of this interview, so that we can enjoy Katee Sackhoff in all her unbridled splendor. Also, could we make it a long one please?

Cort & Fatboy

Honorary Lifetime Official TeamSpank Members

for services to the cause

Gentlemen, on behalf of the entire global TeamSpank constituency, we humbly thank you. We are your servants until the end of time.

Car Keys and More Vid Interviews

POSTED BY:  MaxiSpank

Yo guys - has anyone seen my car keys?

OMG I'm going to be so late! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, the third part of the EW interview, (the one with the Come FrakMeBoots, extensions, oil & cleavage) , is now online.

You can see the whole interview at the Katee Vid Interviews page on this site.
Katee Sackhoff on corsets: "I think I like confining wardrobe".
Such a funny munchkin.

Oh one more thing - we've had to activate the word censors at the TeamSpank Forum because the language has been getting a little out of hand. I think you'll find that the censored words aren't quite the ones you'd expect though. (Let's just say that the 'original' Starbuck actor doesn't get off lightly).

TeamSpank HQ - cyberhome to
the loyal, the devoted and the immature.